What Could Have Happened With Primrose
by Skylar Fray
Summary: This is a story of Primrose participating in the 74th Hunger Games had Katniss not volunteered for her. Little sweet Prim who couldn't hurt a fly. Will she survive a game of killing? Is it even possible? Please review, any praise/critique is appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

What Could've Happened With Prim

"Primrose Everdeen!"

I can't seem to shake the sound of Effie Trinket's voice calling my name at the reaping out of my head. Every night as I lay hopelessly in bed I replay that moment over and over; it was either that or to anticipate what's to come. I think back to when I'd stepped up onto the big stage and faced the huge crowd, seeing a sea of disappointed faces. Why had everyone looked so sad? Sometime between that confusing moment and now I've decided it was because they must all know Katniss and used to know my dad. Plus I'm only twelve, and everyone's always in disgrace when a child is chosen in their first year. Yes, I believe it must've been a combination of those three reasons.

I pull the soft, silky covers right up to my chin and curl up tight when I think of Katniss. I miss her so much along with my mom, and Buttercup. Oh how I would give up almost anything to have Buttercup lying next to me right now. I squeeze my eyes shut and imagine his solid warmth against my body, lying unmoving to protect me from all the dangers that I will be soon encountering. I imagine myself stroking his long soft fur, listening to his gentle purr as I drift away…

But of course he's not here, and I'm not going to be drifting away anytime soon. Despite the extreme level of comfort of this Capitol bed, it's just not the same as back in District 12 when I'm with my family, where I belong. I should be there right now, taking care of Buttercup, milking Lady, helping my mom cook and clean and heal people, sleeping beside Katniss. But I'm never going to go back there again, I'm never going to see any of them or speak a word to them again before my life ends. Tears burn in my eyes, and begin to spill out, making dark dots my pillow. Soon the whole right side of my pillow is soaked and I'm choking on sobs, just like every other night since leaving home.

I also can't get the looks on Katniss and my mom's faces out of my head from after the reaping, when we'd exchanged our final goodbyes in the Justice Building. Katniss had evidently been hiding her emotions from me; she'd had on that blank face of hers that she does whenever she's upset. She thinks she's fooling everyone, and perhaps she is, but not me. I can read her like a book. My mom had been very distressed, tears rolling down her face the whole time as she choked out her final words to me and held me in a very tight hug. I hadn't stopped crying the whole time either, and it'd been incredibly embarrassing when I couldn't contain myself at the train station, when all cameras had been focusing on me. I've decided from that moment that I can't do that anymore. I don't want to look weak to the sponsors and the other tributes, but I certainly don't want to show my weakness to my family either. I'm hoping that even though I know I won't win the games, that I'll at least put forth my best effort and show my mom and Katniss that I'm stronger than they thought. I want to impress them before my last chance of showing them I'm underestimated is gone.

Tomorrow will be the last day before the games begin, which means I'll be doing my live interview with Caesar Flickerman. I get jittery every time I think about it. All of Panem will be watching! This will be my chance before the games to get some sponsors, or at least one. I don't let my hopes get too high. I'll also have a chance to impress my mom and Katniss, and I make a silent vow to myself that I will do my very best tomorrow.

I wake groggily to Effie's knocking on the door, and she calls to remind me of the interview. I get jittery again, and after getting ready and sitting at the table, I eat nothing but a nibble of a roll.

"The games begin tomorrow, girl, you'll want to be stuffing yourself today," Haymitch Abernathy tells me as he takes a swig of liquor.

I just shake my head, and say nothing.

"Hey," he says softly, reaching out and gently tilting my head up towards him. He looks me right in the eye. "I know that it's nerve racking, with the interview today and all, but you need to be practical. Let your logic guide you, not your emotions. It'll be a waste if you sink your own ship after getting a seven out of twelve yesterday. Now eat." He pushes a loaded plate in front of me. "Or you're not lasting a day in that arena."

I slowly munch up the stuff in front of me, and as I do so I flash back to my session yesterday when I'd showed the gamemakers what I've got. I'm certainly not planning on killing anyone in the arena, so during training I hadn't tried out any of the offensive weapons. I'd learned other things to preserve my own life though, like building shelter and painting camouflage. My strategy is to hide out the best I can and hope no one will find me. Then everyone can kill each other, and hopefully the last man standing aside from me in the end can die of starvation. Of course, this is only my plan I'm telling everyone so I can say at least I'm giving it a shot. I'm certainly not expecting this to follow through. So yesterday that's what I'd done. I'd simply built a shelter out of the materials available, and painted up the best camouflage I could manage in the time I'd had left. The gamemakers hadn't even paid me any attention though, but not that I care. I'm glad I got one of the lower scores, for I don't want to stand out so the other tributes remember me. I'm betting on the tributes forgetting I'm even in the arena in order for my plan to possibly work.

After breakfast I'm up and about being trained and polished for tonight's big interview. My personality is going to be sweet and innocent, a cliché impression that will show the tributes that I'm no threat to them, and it'll also be quite forgettable to them, I'm hoping.

After my hair's done up in my usual two French braids (which also keeps up the innocent look) I'm dressed in a plain pale blue dress that accentuate my eyes. It's thick material is smooth and flat across my chest and back at the top, followed by a thick white belt in the middle, then the light and thin pleated skirt flows down to my knees and swishes when I walk. To go with the dress I'm wearing matching blue flats with a bit of sparkle. I have minimal makeup; just a hint of brown eye shadow, girly pink blush that complements my pale skin, and sparkly pink lip gloss. I smile big when I look in the mirror and swish my skirt around. What will my mom and Katniss think when they see me?

"Don't forget your bracelet," my stylist, Cinna says after approaching me. He slides my mother's precious bracelet onto my wrist. It was from when she'd been young, before meeting my dad. It's made of real gold and has a pattern of sparkly blue jewels in it. She'd insisted during our last goodbye that I wear it to the games. "Do you like your outfit?"

"Yes, thank you so much," I say, then reach out and give him a hug.

It's then time to get on the circular platforms to rise up onto the stage for the interview. I take my place and the jitters return once again. Soon enough, I'm rising up onto the stage and I hear the music blaring, the crowd roaring, and my anxiety is full-blown now that I'm officially on live TV being viewed by all of Panem. I give a smile and a wave, then take my seat beside Peeta Mellark, my fellow tribute from District 12. He turns to me and gives me a warm smile, and I grin back. For a second I'm about to take his hand, a natural reaction I do when I feel a sudden liking for someone, but I quickly decide against it; it'd be very awkward if I did so. Physical contact is just something I do, and of course my family and friends understand this, but certainly not Peeta Mellark nor the rest of Panem. They'd probably have love rumours going around, and that'd feel very wrong.

Every tribute goes up one at a time to be interviewed, but I'm so nervous I hardly pay any attention. I just sit with correct posture, a pleasant smile, and look like I'm paying attention when I'm really thinking of what's happening back at home. As it gets closer and closer to my turn, I have to resist doing things like tapping my feet, playing with my fingers, and chewing my lip.

I then notice the girl from District 11 who's my age go up for her interview. Her name's Rue. During the group training I'd been by myself most of the time, but I just couldn't help but notice her. She seems very shy but very nice, and she's great at identifying plants just like Katniss. I immediately felt a bond with her, since we're the two smallest girls competing. Everyone is much bigger and stronger than us. When she'd been at the camouflage station at one point I'd joined her, and even struck a small conversation with her. I know it's probably not the best thing to do before going in an arena to fight to the death, but I'd really needed a friend, and she seems like somebody I can trust. All my impressions of her were correct; she was kind of quiet yet very open and friendly. I don't regret speaking to her.

A few minutes later when it feels like my heart's about to flutter away altogether, it's my turn, and I feel the blood drain from my face as I walk shakily to the hot seat. I'm hoping the cameras don't catch my shaky hands and legs. My heart's pounding loud in my ears, and I take deep breaths to slow it as I sit and strain to hear what Caesar Flickerman's saying.

"Hello, Primrose Everdeen!" he says in a very friendly way, flashing me a dazzling smile.

I straighten my back and rest my hands neatly in my lap. "Hello," I say, smiling. My voice shakes a little.

"Your dress is lovely! I like your bracelet too!"

"Thank you, it's my mom's," I say. I look down at it and touch a blue gem with my finger, thinking of my mom watching me right this second.

"Oh, so this is the token from home you're bringing into the games?" he asks.

"Yes." I look back up.

"It's beautiful. How did you feel about leaving District 12?"

My mind's buzzing. _Make mom and Katniss proud_. "I felt very sad to leave my mom and my sister, and all the rest of my friends." _Act innocent and helpless_. "But what can a girl like me do?" I add in a tiny voice. There's a few sympathetic moans from the audience.

"Oh, never underestimate yourself. You'll do great! You got a seven out of twelve, correct?"

"Yes."

"That's remarkable for a little girl like you. Do you think you will be able to get back to your home District?"

I hesitate. What am I supposed to say? I can't exactly say 'no', but I can't really say 'yes' either. "Um… I don't know. I guess we'll see."

"Yes, this shall make for a very interesting games. One last question before your time's up. If you can say one thing to your family right now, what would you say?"

Oh no. _Oh no._ Tears begin welling up in my eyes and I can feel a sob building up in my chest. I try to loosen it, but it doesn't work. I keep my eyes down. "I love you," I say in a shaky voice. "And I miss you guys more than anything." A few tears fall onto my lap, and everyone can hear the tears in my voice. The audience is again moaning with sympathy, and I think I even hear someone else crying out there.

Caesar puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. I look up to see he's set down his microphone, so no one can hear what he's about to say to me. He leans close to my ear, and whispers

"It'll be alright. You seem much more wise and passionate than most your age, and that can be a big advantage for you."

I step down and take my seat while Peeta Mellark steps up for his interview. The cameras lurk on my teary face for a minute, but then go to focus on Peeta, for his talking skills are much better than any of the other tributes. He's already got the crowd laughing and loving him.

"So what is your strategy going into this game?" Caesar asks.

"Well…" Peeta pauses. "I'm not really planning to win."

The crowd gives a big collective gasp.

"What?" Caesar asks. "Why not?"

"See, I've had a huge crush on this girl for as far back as I can remember."

"Who is that?" Caesar's leaning forward in his seat, and the crowd is dead silent as they anticipate Peeta's next words.

"Well, since I'm going to die soon I guess I'll just admit it… her name's Katniss Everdeen. She lives back in District 12. And… well Primrose over there, is her little sister. And there's no way I'm putting Katniss through losing a sibling."

The cameras are now trained on my shocked face. My mouth is gaping open and my eyes are wide, staring at Peeta. I don't know what to feel. Honored, because he's helping me win? Happy, because I have a better chance at getting back home? Or angry, because he's drawing attention to me, making me easier for the rest of the tributes to remember, making me a bigger threat to the rest of them? This could make my game, or break my game. And it all begins tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes fly open. I'm panting and covered in sweat. It's still dark. I glance at the clock beside my bed; it's three in the morning. My muscles are tense and I sit up to massage my neck. _It was just a dream_. It'd felt so real. It takes me a few minutes to completely get over the nightmare and be sure it hadn't actually happened. I'd dreamt of being in the games. It had only been Peeta and I left, and the Gamemakers had tossed in a group of monstrous mutations to chase us down until one was left; they were giant balls of brown fur with round mouths and grotesque green teeth lining the inside. They'd had arms and legs complete with sharp hooked claws, and emitted a strong smell of sewer, overtaking us and making me almost suffocate. After waking I now recognize these creatures to be from a past season of the games from a few years ago. The whole dream had been Peeta and I trying to run from the things, but we'd been no competition for them. In the end Peeta had suddenly turned around and walked right into them, giving them permission to end his life without hesitation. I'd watched him get shredded up to pieces by them, then I'd woken up. Now here I lie, feeling like I'm never going to want to eat again.

I shudder, then get up and press a button on the wall to summon a large bottle of water. I pour some onto my hand and rinse off my face, then down half the bottle. I lie down and go back to sleep.

"Wake up, Primrose! Today's going to be a big, big, big day!" Effie trills from the door. I wake up to see the sun rising over the Capitol, and I'm very relieved that the rest of the night had been spent in a dreamless slumber.

I shower off the leftover sticky sweat, leave my hair down so Cinna can put it in my two French braids, and dress in comfortable soft black pants and a loose quarter-length sleeve shirt.

"Did you have a restful sleep?" Effie asks when I take my seat at the table with half a plate of food; my appetite is still slightly affected from last night's dream.

I yawn and rub my eyes, nodding my head. "It was alright."

Peeta comes and takes his seat beside me, and I feel a pang of guilt. I avoid looking at him.

Everyone else engages in light conversation, and I drown it out with thoughts of how I can win without deliberately letting Peeta die. I don't want it to be directly my fault for anyone's death, but of course I want to get back home. I'm slightly angry at Peeta for screwing over my plan. I'd wanted to be uninvolved with anybody in the arena, but after his interview, none of the tributes will forget me, and no matter what I'm going to feel responsible for his death. I try to stab a hard piece of mango with my fork, but instead the fork slips and I've accidentally sent it flying across the table. It hits Haymitch right in the face. For a second I feel a pang of guilt and humiliation, but it quickly evaporates to be replaced with amusement when Peeta and Effie crack up, and I can't help but let out a giggle.

"I'm so sorry, Haymitch!" I tell him.

"Just finish your plate," he says gruffly, wiping his face with a napkin. However I can see under it that even he's smiling underneath.

A few hours later, I'm all dressed and ready, complete with my mom's gold bracelet. Haymitch is giving us last minute tips, and we're all saying our final goodbyes. Cinna is keeping his composure, but Portia's tearing up a bit. Effie is completely out of control.

"I don't want to say goodbye now!" she cries as she pulls me into a strangling hug. "You're just so brave and sweet. And-and so _young_!" Effie collapses back into sobs.

My prep team Octavia, Flavius and Venia, are also crowding around me, howling about how sweet and little I am, how they can't believe I'm so soon going to be fighting to the death with so many larger contestants.

"Couldn't hurt a butterfly, yet so… courageous," Octavia wails.

Everyone else's emotions are getting to me, and now once again I'm crying, wishing that my mom and Katniss could be here to say goodbye one more time before I'm thrown into the unknown. I wish I could milk Lady one last time, snuggle with Buttercup and tell him he must get along with Katniss now because I won't be there.

I'm lifted into a hovercraft and after regaining my composure, settled into the underground center before I'm to enter the arena.

"I'll get as many sponsors as I can, but you must cooperate too," says Haymitch. "Now that the tributes won't be around you to see, look dangerous to the audience, make out like you're going to be absolutely deadly."

I know in my head I can't do that, but I say nothing and simply nod, going along with it. I know Haymitch won't try if I tell him I'm not going to.

Cinna reminds me not to go for the Cornucopia. I tell him that's the last thing I'd want to do.

Soon enough, I'm trapped on my platform, then raised up to the arena. I see the Cornucopia straight ahead, and I know already I'm certainly not risking my life by trying to get materials. I know that if I don't run and hide as soon as possible, I'll be killed. I also spot a big lake, a wheat field, and a large forest. I decide the forest will be my best bet for finding food, shelter, and hiding places.

It's a silent minute as everyone stands at the ready on their platform. The bigger tributes and the Careers have their eyes glued to the Cornucopia. I see that the smaller tributes, like Rue, don't take their eyes off the forest. Then, making me jump a foot in the air, the gong rings, signalling the start of the 74th Hunger Games.

I'm not usually a very fast runner, but I realize that when my life's depending on it, I can sprint like a cheetah. Within a minute I'm scrambling through the forest, constantly looking around me to make sure I don't have any stalkers. I wonder where Rue's gone, for I'd just seen her running, and now she's completely out of sight.

I run for several minutes, not ever wanting to stop, but I'm rapidly getting tired and very thirsty. I run for another minute or so, look around for danger, then slow to a walk. I'm panting as I walk, and I hear a nearby stream to my right. I push through some vegetation and see the sparkling water of the cold rushing river reflect the light of the sun. I want so badly to drink it, but I know I must first sterilize it by boiling. That would mean making a fire.

Along with shelter and camouflage I've also learned about tying knots, identifying edible plants, and starting a decent fire in the training center. I decide to walk along the river and collect the things I need for a small fire so I can build one before it gets dark and gives me away. I walk very carefully and quietly, and keep an eye out for somewhere safe and hidden where I can build it and perhaps stay the night. After about an hour, I make it to the end of the river with my arms full of twigs and things, but nowhere to stay. I decide I'll boil the water here before the sun sets, then seek out shelter afterwards.

_I need a container_. I glance around, not seeing anything useful. I don't even have anything to carve stone to perhaps try to create a make-shift container. I sigh. How am I going to get any sponsors? For a second I consider that maybe I should have gone for the Cornucopia, but then realize if I had I probably wouldn't even be here right now. I sit down with my legs folded and wrap my arms around my knees. I lay my head down sideways. I'm hopeless. I'm not even two hours into the game and I've already gotten no resources. Haymitch is not going to give me any sponsors either, for he'd been wanting me to look dangerous; so much for that. I look helpless instead.

I'm about to just give up and wait to die, for fighting for my life is much harder than I'd been expecting. But then I think my mom and Katniss watching back at home. I think back to a couple of nights ago when I'd promised myself I'd try to make them proud, show them I'm underestimated. I decide playing this game isn't about me, nor Haymitch, nor the other tributes, nor the Capitol audience, nor Panem. This isn't about me fighting for my life. It's about fighting for my district to get what it's always needed. This game is all about me fighting for my mom and my sister.


	3. Chapter 3

I give up on the water idea- it's going to get dark soon and I need a place to stay, plus I can get through one night without it. So I begin heading away from the river and the waterfall that's marked my dead end. I walk in a straight line as I look around so I don't forget how to get back to the river in case I somehow get very lucky and figure out how I can make something to hold the water with. The light's dimming, and I still have no clue where I'm going to spend the night. I decide I'm not going to stand a chance in this game unless Peeta helps me. I have no idea where he's gone; maybe the whole thing about him loving Katniss and helping me win was just a gimmick. _Good_. I'd felt incredibly guilty about that, and I don't want to have to use him to make it back home.

When all the creepy creatures are out and about, the bugs are singing, and the moon is up, I`m feeling more hopeless than ever. I begin to sniffle and wipe my wet eyes. _Look dangerous. Impress mom and Katniss. Show everyone you're underestimated. _None of this is following through. I have no idea what to do. Then an idea spontaneously pops into my head. _What would Katniss do?_ Katniss is out in the woods all the time! I try to imagine what Katniss would do if she were locked in the woods for a night with no resources the way I am right now. I know there's no way she'd just sleep on the ground, out in the open. That way a wild dog or some other dangerous creature would easily be able to kill her. If she dug a hole and slept in that, maybe she'd be slightly concealed, but she could still get stepped on and discovered; especially if humans were around. I wouldn't be able to dig a hole big and deep enough with my own bare hands anyway. At least, not quick enough. Where's somewhere unreachable and concealed then, out in the middle of the woods?

_"Trees,"_ I can hear Katniss say in my head. _"Climb a tree!"_ Of course! I suddenly feel very stupid for not having thought of that before. It was obvious, wasn't it? I'm delighted I've found a solution until I realize I've never climbed a tree before, let alone slept in one!

"But Katniss, I'm going to fall," I whimper to myself quietly. I don't hear her voice in my head anymore. She must've gone to bed.

Then I hear Haymitch. _"Come on girl, try! You're getting no sponsors! Are you going to leave your family without a fight?"_

I take a deep breath. "Fine," I say, then quickly look around to make sure no one's around and heard me. Aside from the creatures of the night, it's silent.

I tiptoe around some more to find a tree with strong low branches that I can reach. I find one that looks like it'll be my best bet. _Here goes._ I reach up and have to jump in order to grab the lowest branch. I'm hanging on only by my hands, my whole body swinging underneath, only about half a foot off the ground. The bark's digging into my skin, making my palms feel like they're getting a severe rug burn, but I hold on. I know if I fall, I won't have the confidence to try it again.

I begin to slip. I imagine Haymitch and everyone back in District 12 holding their breath as they cross their fingers for me to make it. I picture Katniss leaning towards our old bantered television set, egging me on. My mom's beside her, ready to cry if I fall. I know if I fall just this one time, everyone will lose what little faith they ever had in me. I must show them that I _am_ a fighter. I won't give up on climbing this tree, and I won't give up in trying to win the games.

I pull with all my might, and then I'm hanging by my elbows. _Almost there_!

Then I hear a rustle in the bushes nearby, and some voices. "We'll start off by trying to find the little ones, pick off the weak that ran into here when the gong rang," a male voice says.

Another male voice follows. "Let's get the twelve year olds first, they'll be easy. Rue and the other one. What's her name? Rosemary?"

"Primrose," another one corrects.

"They can't be that much farther, can they? Do you think they would've been able to run this far?"

"We'll see soon, I guess. Is there a source of water out here? They're probably hiding out near that."

"Yeah. If there isn't, they'll come right to us or die of thirst. The lake would be their only chance."

These boys must be the Careers. I can hear their footsteps getting closer, and I begin to panic. My heart's pounding and I'm breathing rapidly as I try to hike myself onto the branch. It's not working. My legs begin flailing in the air. _I'm going to die. They're going to catch me!_

Then the worst happens. I slip off the branch and fall backwards to the ground, knocking the wind out of me. I can almost hear all the hope in District 12 evaporate. Katniss has her head in her hands and my mom is covering her eyes, looking away from the TV.

"Did you hear that?" a boy asks.

"Yes. It came from over there!"

"Let's go!" a voice booms, and a series of footsteps are rushing my way.


	4. Chapter 4

I roll onto my front and begin crawling frantically, for the pain and shock of the fall won't let me have the strength to stand up and run. I scramble through the grass towards a clump of bushes where I can hide- this is my only chance.

I crawl faster when I hear the footsteps are dangerously close, then I scream loudly when I feel a pair of iron hands grasp my ankles and drag me backwards.

"Help! HELP!" I cry, thrashing around, waving my arms and kicking my legs, struggling to break free, but it's useless; the boy's grip is unbelievably powerful. I'll might as well be fighting against a pair of steel shackles.

Another boy grabs my wrists and pulls me up backwards, almost yanking them out of their sockets, so I'm forced to stand on my feet whilst my limbs are trapped and immobile. Tears start pouring down my face. "NO! NO!" I cry. "PLEASE!"

A boy comes around with a large sharp knife, and I scream as loud as I've ever done in my life.

But then something funny happens. Just as I think I'm about to be mutilated to death, the boy lowers his knife and looks at me. I squint through the black darkness to see if I can put a name to his face. Then I gasp. It's Peeta Mellark!

"Let her go, guys," he says.

"Why?" they just tighten their grip on me, cutting off my circulation.

"If we kill her now, it'll be a waste. With the way she's begging us, I'm sure she'll be willing to do anything for us if we agree to keep her alive… for now."

There's a pause as they consider this.

"No," one of the boys finally say. "She's weak and useless. What can she do for us? What does this little wimp have to offer?"

"She may not be physically strong, but I know for a fact she's very knowledgeable," Peeta says. Then he leans in and whispers to the group, so no one watching can hear. "And you know that she appears to be more of a threat now that I've told Panem I'm going to fight to keep her alive. They all bought it! As long as she's alive, the other tributes are more likely to go after her rather than us since they think she has twice the chance to win over them. Two people fighting for her to win. She's everyone's first target now. If we kill her we'll become the first targets. If our group ever encounters another dangerous tribute, we'll sacrifice her and run for it." He takes a step back and crosses his arms. "You know a lot about remedies, too, don't you Primrose? I've heard that you and your mother brew them on a daily basis to help the ill and the injured in District 12."

I'm not sure whether Peeta's secretly trying to help me, or if what he's telling the Careers is his true motive. I don't know what to think. But to save my life, I answer his question honestly.

"Yes, I know plenty about healing. I also know edible plants and a few snares," I say in a small voice.

There's another pause, then one boy lets go of my wrists, then the other releases my ankles. My blood starts circulating again. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Fine," says a boy. "But remember, you're easily disposable to us. You don't do one thing we ask you, and you're dead."

A cold shudder runs down my spine. "Okay," I squeak.

"Let's head back then, guys," Peeta says, and I follow them back through the forest towards the lake. On the way there Peeta subtly brushes his hand against my arm, and I'm not sure if it'd been on purpose or an accident. Had it meant he was lying to them, that he's really on my side? Was he trying to give me some form of reassurance without the Careers noticing? I decide not to get my hopes up. Why would he choose weak little me over them, even if he did love my sister? I bet the whole thing's made up. He's never talked to Katniss in his life! How could he be in love with somebody he doesn't know? And even if he is, he's in a game about life and death. He's much more likely to survive with the Careers than me! He probably just wants to use me as his shield in case the Careers turn on him. Yes, I think that's why he saved my life.

When we finally make it back to their camp, I'm amazed to see that they have a massive stash of food and materials, all from the Cornucopia. It's scattered all over the place, but I hear a boy say they should organize the pile and activate the bombs soon so people won't be able to steal it. I notice little holes dug up all around the platforms we'd just been standing upon this morning, where the bombs had been placed. 'Wow' is all I can think, and that's the moment I decide there's no way I'm winning these games.

"Well, we've hunted one down tonight," one of the Careers say. "Once we get our gear sorted out we'll go on a full night hunt tomorrow. Let's get some sleep now so we'll have the energy to figure out a way to plant the bombs."

"I'll stay on watch," Peeta says quickly. They all look at him suspiciously, but fatigue overcomes them and they all consent. They get in their sleeping bags and toss me a spare blanket. It's not as efficient, but it's still big and warm and much better than what I would've had had they not caught me tonight. I wrap it tightly around me like a cocoon, but I can't close my eyes. I'm still on high alert in case this is all a trick and they're planning on killing me in my sleep. Not that I could really escape anyway, but it's better to be aware that someone's approaching me than being completely unconscious.

Suddenly the sky lights up and the anthem begins playing. I don't even bother looking at who's dead yet; I really don't care, for I'm not going to kill a single soul in this arena. The sky returns to its dark state, and the boys fall asleep as Peeta sits a few feet away, staring at the dark forest. I continue to lay with my eyes wide open.

After half an hour, Peeta turns around to face me. "You awake?" he silently whispers, barely audible.

"Yeah," I mouth without a sound. Why does he want to know? Does he want me to keep watch instead?

He gestures with his hand for me to come join him. I cock my head to the side, unsure whether to trust him. What's he planning to do to me?

"Please," he mouths. "I won't hurt you. I _promise_." His eyes tell me he's telling the truth, that he's innocent and empty of any plans to attack me.

I sit up and I'm about to go over and see what he wants, but I freeze statue still when I spot a movement at the edge of the trees far behind him. Was it just a tree branch?

"What?" he asks. I keep my eyes glued and maintain my frozen posture as I observe the suspicious shadow. "Don't. Move," I murmur. His eyes light up in alarm, but he doesn't move an inch.

The shadow begins to emerge from the forest. It's the tall, slight figure of a girl. She moves very sneakily, not making a sound as she slowly pads her way over to the Careers' stash of supplies. I can't recognize the girl in the darkness, but I see that she's armed.

When she's about halfway between the forest and the Cornucopia, she spots me staring at her in the moonlight. She freezes.

And _then_ the absolute unexpected happens. Behind her is another large shadow, a massive stocky boy who appears to have emerged from the wheat field. He's just as silent as her as he sneaks up behind her, then she shrieks loudly, piercing the night, as he grabs her in a choke hold. This wakes up all the Careers, and then the large male begins to run towards us after he disposes the girl. A bomb goes off.

I sound of terror escapes me, and the Careers are all standing, grabbing their weapons and preparing to fight. One of them throws a spear, but he easily dodges it. Someone shoves me towards his growing figure.

"Take her!" a boy cries.

He's just about fifteen feet away when someone roughly grabs my left arm, and pulls me towards the forest. "RUN!" the boy yells as he pulls me along with him to the forest. It's Peeta.


	5. Chapter 5

With our mouths and throats dry, our muscles throbbing and begging to rest, and our lungs begging for more oxygen, we collapse onto the ground, way too exhausted to go on any more. My heart's beating so fast it feels like it's halfway up my throat; I'm afraid it's going to get tired and decide to stop. With chilled goose bumps all over, a heavy cold wind, and my mouth dry as a desert, I want nothing more but to be safe at home.

"Is anyone coming?" I manage to gasp to Peeta, who's laying on his back beside me. He's still panting like crazy, trying to catch his breath. He must be far more tired than myself, for he'd been half-dragging my weight for I couldn't run that fast and keep up with him, and he'd also grabbed a full backpack that'd been the property of one of the Careers and been lugging it on his back the whole way.

He struggles to sit up. We hold our breath for a few seconds and listen quietly as he stares into the night. "No," he says after a silent minute. We resume our desperate gulping of more oxygen.

"I need water," I whisper. I move my tongue around my mouth, trying to conjure up some saliva, but it doesn't help.

Peeta opens the backpack and pulls out all of its contents. We find another blanket like the one I'd been wrapped in earlier, a long, thick rope, a knife, a pair of glasses, a few packages of dry fruit that could last us a few days alone, four empty thermos's, and three bottles of sterilizer to clean the water. I grin; we haven't done too bad.

After we gather the strength to get up and drag ourselves towards the sound of the river, we collect the water and sterilize it, and it's killing me to have to wait so long before I can drink it. Finally, we're both allowed to chug down the stuff, and we both down two bottles within minutes. We collect some more for later, eat a small handful of the fruit, and curl up under a thick bush to sleep; we're both so drained of energy that there's no way either of us can climb into a tree, and none of us can possibly stay up to guard, either. Peeta offers to, but judging by the lines of fatigue on his face, he's really not up for it. We make sure we're as concealed as we possibly can be, then before I can let the events of the day sink in or instinctively consider that maybe Peeta's tricking me for some reason, I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Several hours later the beaming sun and the calls of mockingjays bring me to consciousness. It must be about one in the afternoon, for the sun's just begun to sink in the sky. I sit up and look for Peeta, then realize he's gone. Did he leave me to fend for myself now? Did he go back to the Careers? Why did he save me from that massive tribute and lure me here? So many questions pop into my head at once.

Then I realize Peeta has left the backpack and all the supplies with me, and thirty seconds after I realize this he breaks through a clump of branches, carrying fresh water and even some fish! My face lights up at the sight, but I have a brief moment of guilt. As soon as I'd seen he was gone I'd jumped to the conclusion he'd gone back for the Careers, that he's tricking me! But this obviously isn't true, and now I'm disgusted for believing such nonsense. Peeta Mellark, the baker's son. The boy who claims he loves my sister, and will help me get back home to her. Why would he lie about that? I've seen Peeta around District 12 now and then, and he's always been a very sweet boy. Why, now that we're in the games, do I think he's suddenly changed into this cruel deceiving being? He's always been the same person. I realize that being reaped hasn't changed him in the least, and he's still hanging onto morals and being a good person, even if it means his death. I decide I'm going to fight for the same thing. I'm not coming out of these games, dead nor alive, a different person from who I'd been before. Maybe I'll be stronger and better at survival skills, but I will not lose my morals, and there's no way I'm ever going to kill a soul. I decide it's safe to put my full trust in Peeta now. I now realize what he's told Panem really is his strategy in this game, and he'd been lying to the Careers. Without thinking, I run up and wrap my arms tightly around his waist and lean my head against his chest.

"Oh, hey there," he laughs. He's taken by surprise.

Only now realizing what I'm really doing, I jump off him. "I'm sorry!" I burst out. "I-I just…" I'm not sure what to say. "Thank you!"

"No problem," he says, laying down the fish and offering me a bottle of water with a smile. I realize that it probably looked like I was saying thank you to the meal, and not what I really meant.

"No, I mean thank you for everything!" I say, accepting the water and taking a gulp. "I mean thank you for saving my life twice! And risking your own for mine. You don't have to do that for me. Or for Katniss." I look up into his blue eyes. I'd been expecting them to be warm and happy, but now they're actually kind of sad. This takes me aback.

"No problem," he says. "You don't have to thank me. It's the right thing to do."

I stand on my tiptoes and gesture for him to lean down. "Why do you look so sad?" I whisper in his ear.

He straightens to his normal height. "I want you to win," he says quietly.

I stare blankly. "No! You should fight for your own life, just like I am for mine!"

"Prim!" he says. "You must make it back home for your mother, and Katniss. It's alright if I don't go back. My parents don't need me. Your family needs _you_."

My eyes sting a little and I bite my lip. I feel terrible for Peeta. I can't imagine being thrown into these games and being completely disposable to my family, have them not care and be completely unaffected by my permanent departure. How did Peeta deal with this? This must be another reason why he's helping me so much, because he knows there's not a point in him winning, but there is a point for me. I'm the only tribute that he cares about winning these games. This sad realization hits me hard, and I feel a sad stab of sympathy in my chest for this poor boy.

"But Peeta," I whimper.

"My time is done, Primrose. You're still a little girl with your life ahead of you and a family to return to. You can trust me to make sure you make it to the end. Don't try to convince me otherwise. Just be grateful and accept it, okay?" he says sadly and gently. He quickly looks down when tears appear in his eyes.

"Okay," I whisper, a tear falling down my cheek. I go back to the bush where I'd slept overnight and sip my water. Peeta leaves to collect stuff for a fire, then returns with an armful of dry twigs and other vegetation. He builds a small fire, stabs the fish with sticks, and cooks them. He gives me the biggest one, and keeps the few smaller ones for himself. We eat in silence, then afterwards we begin to plan what to do next.

"How are you planning to make me win?" I ask.

"Step one is to kill the Careers," he says grimly. My face contorts into some kind of face that Peeta seems to somehow understand. "You couldn't kill a person, could you?" he asks softly.

"No," I say. "I promised myself I wouldn't kill a soul in this arena."

He nods like he understands. He must relate to the whole this-isn't-going-to-change-me thing. "I'll kill them for you."

"I'll watch your back," I say. "I'm not letting you face them alone. I can try to stop them from hurting you."

"No," he says quickly. "You're their first target. They know I'm helping you now."

"But Peeta! _You're _their number one target! You betrayed them!"

"But they know I'm not planning to win anyway."

"But you're trying to kill them! I'm not."

"They don't know that. Prim, if I die, that's fine. I mean I won't be here to help you, but it'll be much more convenient than if you die. I don't want anyone else in this arena besides you to win, alright?"

We've only been in this place for a day, and the stress is really getting to me, and Peeta too. Right now if we were safe back home we'd probably be laughing and talking and getting along; I rarely get into fights with people. I always try my best to bring out the good in people so District 12 is as happy as it possibly can be under its circumstances, but in these games it's impossible. I would've thought it'd be hard to work with others if we're all fighting for our own lives. It turns out it's much harder if the other's fighting for you, too. I can't help but feel guilty for letting him throw away his life. I feel like I'm single-handedly killing Peeta, even though he's not dying for me. He's dying for Katniss. I wonder how she feels about this. Does she even care? I decide no. She just wants me to come home more than anything, and I can see her now screaming at me to just cooperate with Peeta. And I finally decide to, for her.

"Okay," I say. "How are you going to kill them? What's the plan?"

"We're going to find you the best possible hiding spot today. This evening, the action starts. You'll be safely hidden, and I'll set up a few traps around you so if someone comes to kill you, they'll hopefully be caught. That way they're unable to kill you, but you won't have to injure them either. I'll take care of them when I get back." I wince. "Meanwhile I'll be hiding out at the edge of the forest, and if the Careers are sleeping, I'll kill them then. There's bound to be one or two of them there. That's what I'd meant to do last night before we'd been forced to run while under attack. Now if all of them are on their 'hunt', I'll try to find them. If I can't, I'll return as soon as possible to your hiding place to make sure you're safe. How's that sound? It'll be easier to hunt them at night because it'll be easier to hide, and I'll be able to use the night-vision glasses we got in our backpack."

"Okay," I say. So _that's_ what those glasses were for.

We pack up, then set off to find me a good hiding place. I'm jittery about what's going to happen tonight, but we must take risks. It's The Hunger Games, after all, and if we don't provide any excitement for the Capitol, the Gamemakers will be throwing in mutations for some more action.

After a while of silent walking, we come across an empty cave.

"Oh, this is _perfect!_" Peeta says. He hauls a number of large rocks from the river and blocks the entrance except for a tiny crack that only I could fit into. I eat some dried fruit as Peeta sets up some hidden traps with our rope in the surrounding trees; he cuts it into a few sections with the rope, giving us four traps. "If anyone walks too close," he says. "They'll be left hanging by their ankle. It'll probably keep them from wandering this area anymore."

It's evening, and Peeta leaves the backpack with me. "If I die, you have the supplies," he says. "Except for the night vision. Sorry," he laughs. He stuffs a pack of dried fruit in his pocket. "I'll try to be back by morning. If I'm not by tomorrow afternoon, stay hidden in the cave. No one's probably going to find you here, and hopefully they'll forget about you or think you've been killed already. I'm sorry for making you a target. I didn't realize until after what I'd done." He has his hands resting on my shoulders, and looks me in the eye sincerely.

"It's okay," I say. I'm suddenly terrified by the thought of fending for myself without the will to kill for defense. If Peeta dies tonight, I probably won't stand a chance.

"Take care," Peeta says, then surprises me by leaning down and giving me a quick light kiss on my forehead. Then he turns around and sets off to find the Careers with no weapons but night vision and a knife.

Then later in the night, when it's all quiet, I hear a cannon. I hold my breath. Was it Peeta, or had Peeta killed someone else? I guess I'll find out during the anthem. Then I start when I hear a nearby scream. It sounded like a little girl. Curious. Who could it be?

Then I freeze, and catch my breath. _Rue._


	6. Chapter 6

That _must_ be Rue. She's the only tribute besides me that would do a high-pitched scream like that. I don't even think before I find myself scrambling out of the dark cave, into the night. Rue's my friend! If it's her, I have this feeling that she won't try to attack me, and I know I don't want her to get hurt. It's risky, however, for she can be screaming because of another dangerous tribute poised to attack. It didn't sound like it, though. I probably would've heard running, or another tribute yelling, or the cannon that meant Rue was killed. But besides Rue's scream and the cannon prior to that, the night is silent of unusual sounds. I scurry through the trees towards the sound. I'm glad my eyes are very used to the dark, or otherwise I'd be making a ruckus as I crash smack into the tree trunks. I keep my hurried tread as silent as I can as I try to track where the scream had come from.

Finally, I find a small figure swaying upside-down above the ground, struggling to get free from… Peeta's trap! Poor Rue had gotten stuck in it! She's hanging by her ankle and the rope won't come loose.

"Rue!" I whisper. I must've been pretty quiet, for her head suddenly jerks in my direction as if she hadn't noticed my arrival. Her large dark eyes stare at me, looking fearful and unsure. "It's me, Prim! Let me help you. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you." Her eyes linger in their hesitant state for a few seconds, then clear of most worry.

"Thank you," she says.

I approach her carefully, then help hoist her onto the lowest tree branch before untying the intricate knot at her foot. I struggle with it for a minute or so, but then it finally comes loose, and Rue hops down.

"You're really not going to kill me, are you?" Her eyes are wide with wonder and confusion.

"Of course not! You're not going to hurt _me_ now, are you?"

"Would you hurt me if I hurt you?" she asks curiously.

"No."

Her eyes fill with warmth and trust, but behind it there's still a little weariness. I don't blame her; it's certainly not easy to trust people in these games. I of all people would know that.

"Are you okay? Are you hungry?"

"I'm fine," she says uncertainly. Her eyes hold so much emotion, I can read her easily. She's definitely hungry.

"Come back to my camp. Peeta made this trap to protect me; he's out hunting the Careers. I knew as soon as I heard the scream it was you, and I..." I pause, thinking. "I don't know. I just don't want you to get hurt."

Rue seems very intent in what I have to say.

"Come eat!" then I beckon her to follow me to the cave. She follows.

We get back and I show her the cave. We go inside and I give her a pack of the dried fruit. She eats it immediately, and when I offer her more she declines.

"No, I can't take all your food," she says.

"It's okay! I'm going to try to fish tomorrow; Peeta taught me how earlier before he set off. I know some edible plants, too."

"So do I. Actually, I have some berries," she admits sheepishly. "You can have them." She pulls them out and offers them to me. I take this as a token of my earned trust from her. I know they can be poisonous, and Rue could've been keeping them to use as a trick for an enemy, but I think I've proven to her that I'm a friend. There's also that inexplicable feeling I've always had about her that makes me trust her effortlessly. I can't help but let my hunger get the best of me after watching her eat the dried fruit, and I accept them.

"You have more, right?" I ask as I eat the handful.

She shakes her head.

I shove them back in her hand. "No, I'm not taking all the food you have."

"It's alright, this forest is a food paradise if you have the right kind of eyes to see it. I only have these few berries because it's all I can really fit in my pocket."

I shake my head. "We should sleep soon, anyway. I'm sorry I don't have anything to keep us warm. I don't have much."

"I have extra socks," she says, pulling them out. "I wear them on my hands at night to keep them warm. You can have one. I have a water skin, too. But that's all."

"Thank you," I tell her gratefully. Then I hear the anthem begin outside. "Oh!" we hurry out to see the deaths.

It turns out Peeta thankfully isn't dead yet. Only two Careers, Marvel from District 1 and a boy from District 4; one must've been killed by the huge figure from the wheat field, whom I think had probably been Thresh, and one by Peeta. The redheaded girl from District 5 is also dead. I think that must've been the tall figure whom Thresh had also killed. I try to figure out who's left, but fail miserably. I only know Cato from District 2, Peeta, Rue, Thresh, and myself. I should've looked in the sky that first night after all.

"Rue? Who's left?" I ask.

"Glimmer District 1, Cato and Clove District 2, the boy from District 3, the girl from District 4, girl from District 9, both from District 10, me and Thresh District 11, you and Peeta, District 12," she says in a flash. I gape at her incredible organization of mind, and hope I'll be able to remember everyone she listed. I'm amazed that she's also listed them in order of District, which I could never do. And she'd done it so swiftly, making it look so easy. I wonder if she repeats the list in her head every now and then to remember.

Then I stare in horror when I realize it's the second night and there's only _eleven _of us left. It makes me feel terrible for all of those tributes who'd been killed so early, and oh, their poor families! They must feel hopeless! And the Districts, losing more of its citizens. The neighbours, the friends sitting home having to watch them die. It's such a horrible thing, and I feel like my heart's been ripped.

"Are you crying?" Rue asks.

"No!" I sob.

"What's wrong?" Rue takes my hand gently.

I shake my head and try to collect myself. I can't look weak like this anymore! "I'm fine," I say. "I-I just… so many people are gone already… never mind." I take a few deep breaths and wipe away my tears. I feel incredibly vulnerable. Fragile little me stacked up against all those big killing machines. With only eleven tributes left! I can feel myself almost giving up, but I _must_ hang on for Katniss and my mom. I need to think about what Katniss would do more often. Katniss would never have broken down like that in front of Panem. I need to be stronger! I decide I must start working on my blank face, copy what Katniss did during our final goodbye after the reaping. Yes, that's what I must do. Since I have no better abilities, at least appearing in control will help me get sponsors, although I'm probably about hopeless to ever get any now.

Rue and I end up settling in the back most corner of the cave for the night, the best hidden and warmest spot. I lay on my side close to the rocky wall, my back almost against it, and Rue is snuggled right up in front of me, so we keep each other as warm as possible by sharing our body heat. I wear her lent sock over both of my hands, so they're folded together, also generating more heat than if they'd been separate. I allow myself to relax and melt away all my worries about everything. The games, the Capitol, Peeta, District 12, my mom, Katniss…

And the next morning, after a deep peaceful sleep, it's very bright but I find that Peeta's still gone, and there's still absolutely no sign of him.


	7. Chapter 7

"Where can Peeta be?" I ask Rue as we sit outside the cave in the morning light, eating a mix of roots and berries Rue had gathered and some of the dry fruit; we're about halfway through the stash. The sun beams warmly on my face, and the mockingjays are again active with their fine tunes.

"He's probably on his way back," she replies. "Just spent the night somewhere safe. Unless…" she trails off unsurely. She stares straight ahead, her eyes glazed over as if remembering something.

I gasp. "What? What is it, Rue?" I shake her lightly. I'm prepared to hear the worst.

"Well," she begins. "I've kind of been spying on all the tributes from the trees; they don't notice me, so they don't know we have this inside information. But Glimmer, Clove, and the girl from District four were talking about this plan of aligning with the Careers later on; them and Marvel, Cato, and the boy from District three had planned this out before the games. I don't think they'd planned on having Peeta in their pack before the beginning. They were going to come together later on. But last night they must've seen that already it's only Cato and District three left, so they went to meet them early. They're plan, whatever it was, isn't working. I personally think the girls made this plan because they knew they'd be out of the initial action; without the boys appearing to be in their alliance, they'd be forgotten. Anyways, they could've gotten together and trapped Peeta."

I'm gaping. "But a cannon didn't go off, did it?" Maybe we've both slept through it, but I refuse to consider that. "No, they could be holding him hostage! Oh, no, Rue!"

"I can go see-

"No!" I cut her off. I don't want to split up. I can't imagine losing _both_ of my alliance members. "I can't lose you."

"Just watch out for a cannon, and look in the sky tonight. Remember he can be on his way back now."

"I hope so!" I'm breathing rapidly, and the sun's suddenly too hot and I'm sweating. I remove my sweater. My head aches and I undo my braids. I feel the need for cold water. "Want to go fishing?" I ask.

"Alright. After do you want me to teach you how to climb a tree?"

I'm perplexed for a second, wondering how she knows that I can't climb trees. Then I remember her talking about her sneaking spying, and I almost laugh. "Okay," I say.

We end up failing at fishing, but I'm glad we went, for I'd gotten the opportunity to wash off all the grass and dirt and cool off. I feel as fresh as I have since my last Capitol shower. Rue braids my hair and even weaves a pretty flower in it. I put her hair in the braid I do for my mother before school. Then we gather more plants, eat, and begin my climbing lessons.

"Face towards the trunk when you grab the branch, and put your hands on opposite sides," she tells me, showing me a demonstration. "Then you sort of walk up the trunk if you can't reach by jumping, and wrap your ankles around the branch too." She cleverly does this step in about two seconds, making it look like a piece of cake. "Then you stand. Make sure you hold onto the trunk. Then you reach for the next branch and if it's high, like this one, you can repeat what I just did." She swiftly swings onto the next branch. "Then if it's close enough, you can simply step up. It's pretty easy once you get used to it."

"Wow," I say. I attempt this a few times, and after about five tries I finally make it to the branch Rue had made it to. I'm terrified of heights and end up clinging to the trunk, refusing to let go until Rue has to go undo Peeta's used trap and tie me to the tree so I can get down securely without falling. I laugh at how much of a scaredy-cat I am. "How are you so good at this?" I ask her.

"It's my daily routine back in District 11. We harvest a lot and since I'm small and light I can get to the top of the highest trees. I've just grown up with it, and comes naturally to me now," she says. "At the end of the day I'm the only one who can go high enough to see the signal that we can stop working. I whistle this tune to the mockingjays to let everyone know it's the end of the work day." She whistles a little four-note tune, then the mockingjays immediately begin repeating it back to her, chirping it to one another throughout the forest.

"Wow, it's beautiful," I say.

"The mockingjays are like my special friends back in District 11. I love them. I love whistling to them here." She smiles, and it's contagious.

Suddenly there's a rustling in the trees nearby. We freeze, and our heads jerk toward the sound. Then the blood drains out of my face when a tall, slippery, pink, squid-like creature covered in dots stares at us with two unnaturally large, round, shiny, pink eyes. It looks very wild with craziness and hunger. And it's not ready to pass up two little girls standing right in its range.


	8. Chapter 8

"RUN!" I shriek, and we both take off in a random direction. Rue's a lot faster and more agile than me, but she doesn't leave me behind. I follow her lead, sprinting with numb legs, breathing with tired overused lungs, and itching to look back. After a minute of hopping over roots, ducking under branches, and pushing through bushes, I finally give up resisting, and can't help but glance behind me.

The squid-like creature has multiplied! There are three of them now, and at the moment they're each producing another two of them; their heads spilt open and two more slimy pink blobs emerge. They don't move very fast, but they're persistent and don't seem to be getting tired. They squiggle their way through the woods, leaving a trail of mucky clear slime behind them. Their pink eyes stare right into mine, sending a shudder through me, and I turn back around and pray that one day I'll be able to get that image out of my head. I channel my immense fear into a burst of speed, and I feel like a deer with their long, skinny, awkward legs dashing away from a hunter. My feet are moving so fast I feel like I'm about to lose control of them and I can fall any second.

Rue and I come across a large bush full of sharp hooked thorns. It's so big it practically surrounds us and we're in a panic so we can't think properly, and we need to get away from these awful creatures so we decide to just try to thrust ourselves through it. We hadn't realized that all the skinny, bright red branches entwine and tangle around each other, causing us to trip and get our feet tangled up in the maze, too. Rue's picking up her feet, managing better than me but she's still stuck. I completely tumble onto my front, drowning in the mess, and unfortunately I'd left my sweater back at the cave so when I fall the hooked thorns burrow themselves into the sensitive skin on my arms and wrists, making it feel like I'm being stabbed by a million tiny needles. I'm panting like crazy, terrified for my life, and my initial reaction is to yank my arm away from the thorny branches to dislodge them. I cry in pain when I do this, because the curved hooks grip and pull on my skin, and I've not freed my arms, but put them in more pain.

"Rue!" I sob. I can't see a thing because of my swimming eyes, and everything's incredibly blurry. I don't know whether Rue's left me or not. What happened to the pink squids? Have they caught up with us yet?

And then the absolute worst thing happens. When I blink out some more tears and look back down at my arms, a thrill of shock and hysteria shoots through me when I see that they're turning a deep blue colour, and the areas around the thorns are raised, swelling, and they're bright red. I begin to feel a deep, excruciating stinging under my skin and I scream in the worst pain I've ever been in. I'm wailing like crazy, and gag at the feeling of the poison pulsing through my veins. I can't even form words anymore. I can't believe I'm going to die this way. This is the most horrible way possible. I begin to feel the rest of my skin sting, feeling like a tracker jacker sting times a thousand, only stinging through my veins and muscles and inner tissue, not only the mere surface of my skin. It feels like someone's rubbing salt and lemon juice into the loose flesh of my bleeding wounds, while someone else is dragging poison ivy across my skin, and it's sinking in through all the raw layers of skin underneath, right down to the bone.

My head pounds, my mouth is dry, my eyesight's going blurry around the edges, and I'm feeling incredibly dizzy and faint. My body feels very, very hot, and it produces a sheet of freezing cold sweat. I finally lay my head down, and I only notice now that I haven't been able to hear anything for a while. I finally close my eyes, giving up, as the stinging from the poison numbs me.

I feel absolutely awful. When I first open my super heavy eyes, I can't believe I'm even alive. What happened? How am I still here? All I see is darkness, and I quickly reclose my eyes without hesitation. I'm still exhausted, and my head pounds like crazy. The rest of my body, I can't even feel.

I open my eyes, and wonder how I'm alive. Am I really awake, or is this a dream happening in my head? It's bright and sunny, and my head throbs a bit and I'm only slightly aware of my body. However I'm unable to move, so I reclose my eyes.

"Primrose? Prim? Are you awake? Can you hear me?"

I haven't opened my eyes, and I feel like it's impossible. I simply just moan.

"You're alive," the voice says, relieved. It's of a young girl. I don't recognize it.

I try to take a deep breath, but it only results in a sharp stabbing pain through my chest.

"My remedy worked! I think I saved you just in time."

I force out a sound of confusion.

"You know? When you got stuck in that bush? Here, eat this." I feel a thin leaf push against my lips, so I open them slightly to welcome it into my mouth. I slowly and carefully chew it, moving my mouth as least as possible, then swallow. I don't even taste a thing, I can only feel the texture of it. My gums, teeth, and jaw ache.

"You'll be able to taste again once the poison is completely out of your bloodstream. It's always the worst on your tongue. But your fingers and toes are healed, and your hands and feet are getting better. Can you move them?"

I'm surprised and pleased when I find that I can. I don't feel quite as trapped.

"Good! Have you gotten your memory back yet?"

I make another confused sound.

"Oh, you haven't," the voice sighs. "Every time I've asked you make that sound."

She's asked me before? I've never heard this girl's voice, I swear! Then I wiggle my fingers one more time, to remind myself I'm recovering, then go back to sleep.

My eyes flash open. It's bright daylight. I smile. It's nice to finally see the sun again. I vaguely remember seeing it before, but it feels like it was a very, very long time ago. A year maybe? Two?

A dark face appears above me, blocking out the sun from my eyes. I think I might recognize it, but someone needs to explain to me who it is before it'll come back to me. Is it one of my mom's friend's kids'? Or is it someone from school? I really can't place where I've seen this face before.

I slowly sit up, and my bones and muscles are so stiff I feel like a robot with old rusty hinges that haven't been moved in decades. I stare at the girl, unmoving, trying to place her face. I can't even remember her name.

"Mom?" I croak. "Who is this?"

The girl suddenly looks worried. "Prim!" she says. "It's me, Rue! Your mom's in District 12."

I stare at her blankly, and lie back down to go back to sleep.

"No!" she says, surprising me. She carefully but firmly pulls me back into sitting position. I give her a confused look. "It's me! Rue? We're in the 74th Hunger Games? You can't go back to sleep and leave me for another six hours, Prim. It's already been a week since the games started! Four days since you got stuck in that bush! Do you remember that?"

I pause for what must be a solid five minutes before I finally speak. During this time 'Rue' is sitting crossed legged in front of me, holding both of my hands tight. She smiles encouragingly and gives them a squeeze, looking me in the eyes.

I feel myself fill with warmth. This girl, 'Rue', really seems to care. She's really trying to help me out! I smile for the first time in forever and shake my head. "I… I can't talk very well," I croak again.

"Look, I'll be right back. Stay here. Don't go back to sleep. If you do you'll never break out of this cycle, all right? _Don't_ go back to sleep."

I nod. She gets up and hurries away, and even though my eyelids droop I make sure I stay upright; something about this girl makes me trust her, and makes me not want to leave her or disobey her orders. I believe she's really trying to help me. After a minute or so of her absence, my head begins to clear up a little. _Rue_. It sounds quite familiar. _Rue. Rue, Rue, Rue. Rue…_

I gasp, emerging from my mind's infinite dense fog and feeling like I've just surfaced from a pool of freezing water after having been under, holding my breath, for hours. This huge gasp throws me into a coughing fit, and I'm still choking on the air when Rue returns with a handful of plants.

"Rue!" I cough. I recognize her face now, and her name. I don't remember all the details, but I do remember that we're in the Hunger Games' arena and we're in an alliance. The incident with the bush and squid creatures returns to me, but I still can't talk quite well. Rue builds a fire and brews me a thermos full of some remedy made from the plants she'd just collected.

"This will help soothe the effects of the poison on your chest," she says. I down the antidote then after a few minutes, find my breathing is smoother.

"Yeah, I remember you. Rue! We're in the Hunger Games! We're friends. We were running from the pink squid-like creature things and I fell in a poisonous bush! And I almost died."

"Good job, Prim!" Rue praises, then claps happily. "This is a breakthrough! Several times yesterday and once this morning you've woken up and spoken to me, but never remembered anything. You'd always go back to sleep no matter what I told you. I was afraid this was just going to be one of those times again," she looks pained, remembering back to when I'd left her.

"I won't," I say. "I'll stay awake." It seems that the longer I stay awake, the clearer my mind becomes. I look around and recognize the place we're in; we're outside the cave, right around where we'd first encountered the creatures. Oh yeah, I'd learned how to climb a tree, hadn't I? Rue had told me the story about her whistle. "Can you do your whistle again?" I ask.

She performs her four-note tune, and I break into a smile. Yeah, I remember that! But… something's missing. Wasn't I with someone before I found Rue? I'd found her trapped in a tree. But how had I gotten here in the first place? I struggle to remember.

"Peeta!" I gasp. "What happened to him?"

Rue pauses, looking sad and unsure. I stare at her, not knowing exactly what emotion I'm feeling.

"Prim…" she says slowly and softly. "Peeta's dead."


	9. Chapter 9

This news is so foreign to me, I feel nothing. I just stare blankly, and blink. "What?" I whisper.

"He's dead, Prim…" Rue looks at me sadly, evaluating my reaction. I just stare. When the words finally have some meaning, I ask "How?"

Rue reaches over and squeezes my arm. "When we were stuck in the bush he'd heard your screams and found us. He'd been on his way back; he'd escaped the Careers. He helped pull me from the bush but then those pink squid mutants had caught up with us, and were just about to capture you. He'd thrown himself into their way, and tried to kill them with his knife. Instead they…" she pauses, swallowing and looking very much in pain. "They kind of grabbed him, then gathered around him in a circle. I don't know exactly what they did to him, but after they moved, he was gone. No remains, just completely out of sight. A cannon went off, so I knew he hadn't escaped, they'd definitely killed him. After that they just kind of left. They might've gone for the Careers or someone else, I don't know, but nobody died after they left so they've must've either been killed or taken away by the Gamemakers. After that I got you out of the bush, afraid you were dead, too, but you were still breathing… slightly. I saved you just in time. I'm glad the forest has the plants I needed. I used some juice from the leaves and stem of one of the plants I learned about in the training center; it countered the spread of the stuff you were poisoned with. Ate it up, kind of. It should be almost completely gone now, just a bit is left in your torso. I had some, too, but not nearly as severe. I was still able to think and function, thank goodness, and I hadn't lost all my energy or memory. I'd been convinced your case was too late, but miracles happen I guess. The Gamemakers luckily haven't thrown in any more action since, at least not to me, because the Capitol must've been on edge to see if you'd live. It was quite a show actually." She lowers her voice. "It's terrible, the things they will do to people for excitement. That must've been the worst pain of your life."

I nod, trying not to remember. "It was," I say. "Let's forget about this. Let's do something useful."

The rest of the day is slow. We fish, unsuccessfully; I can hardly remember the tips Peeta had given me. We gather food, then lay out in the dying sun and just talk. We're both very tired of talking game and strategy, so we talk about home, our lives, our families, our Districts.

"What's it like in District 11?" I ask Rue. "Is it fun harvesting?"

"It's hard work," she says. "Also very strict. We don't go to school in the beginning of the fall because we're harvesting all day, and sometimes night. We get to wear night-vision glasses."

"Cool, you guys must get plenty to eat at that time of year." I imagine bringing home barrels of sweet, juicy fruit and loaves of rich, multi-grain bread each day.

"Oh, no," she says. "We don't get to eat anything at all! There's a very strict rule about that."

I gasp. "Really? That must be awful!"

"I'm used to it. I've grown up all my life with these rules. The Peacekeepers are merciless. What's your district like?"

"It's not so bad. Small, quiet, and not as strict as 11 sounds. It's actually quite peaceful… as peaceful as you can get. The mining accidents are… terrible, though. And everything's covered in coal dust. But I'd never leave it voluntarily, not unless my mom and my sister could come with me. I'd never want to leave them behind, even if it meant a better life in the Capitol." I wonder if I'll get in trouble for saying any of this, but I'm not concerned enough to cease the conversation. This is probably the most relaxed time since I've entered the games. This is my only conversation not relating to the games, and I want to keep it this way. I'm probably going to die soon enough anyway. The Careers can be coming right now. But I want to just let go, and actually get to show people who I really am.

"I wouldn't want to leave my family either. I couldn't. I have five younger siblings I love and I must take care of them."

"_Five_?"

"Yeah. I love them all more than anything. They're so innocent and lovable. I really don't want them to ever have to go through a reaping. If one was ever chosen, if it was allowed I'd take their place for them any day. Even if it meant me going through all this again."

It's my turn to reach out to Rue. I squeeze her arm just as she did to me earlier. "I'm sure you would. You're just like Katniss. She'd been begging and screaming to take my place, but… they wouldn't let her. It'd pained her so badly. But I'm glad they didn't let her come here. I'd never in a million years want Katniss to have to experience this." A tear slips to the ground.

Rue bites her lip. "I can't even imagine feeling that helpless. Just watching one of them being taken away while I'm forced to stay behind." She shudders.

We then lay in silence for a while, then it's dark and the crickets are out again, taking the places of the sleeping mockingjays. We go in the cave and decide we'll have to work out some kind of strategy tomorrow to try to cut off the Careers' food supply, or at least do something to put them to a disadvantage. But that can wait until tomorrow. As I go to sleep, I try my best to forget I'm in a cave. I imagine being under the heavy warm blanket at home with my family again, resting peacefully like nothing's wrong, like nothing's ever going to happen…


	10. Chapter 10

Morning comes, and Rue's collecting us water when I wake. I feel like my memory's a lot sharper than it had been yesterday, and I feel a lot less dazed. I actually feel normal again. With that mixed with my strategy-free conversation with Rue last night, I'm in the best mood I've been in in a long time. In the back of my head, the knowledge of Peeta's death lurks, but I ignore it the best I can; the longer I can stay numb to it, the better. I don't quite believe it yet, and I don't want to let it sink in until after the games are done. I can't lose my only happiness and hope _now. _If I've made it this far, I've got to keep going, and I can't get myself hung up on my emotions like I usually do. I feel stronger than ever, like this is my time to prove everyone in Panem wrong, to show my family and District 12 that I have more than it appears. I don't know how, but I feel like finally catching some fish will be a good start.

I end up catching three decent-sized fish. Rue and I eat them along with the last of the dried fruit, and drink our water. As we do I ask if anyone else has died.

"The girl from District 3, the boy from District 10, and… the boy from my district."

I figure Rue doesn't want to say his name, and I don't make her. I just nod solemnly. "The Careers might've gotten their revenge."

"Maybe."

It's quite for a minute. "So there are eight of us left," I say a little shakily. I shake my head and remind myself that today's going to be a good day. I've got to hold on to my hope.

"Yeah."

We finish eating, refill our water, then decide to spy on the Careers to see what they're up to.

"You lead. I'll do my best to follow," I tell Rue.

"I'll go slow. If you have trouble we can always go on the ground," she says.

"No, it's okay," I say as surely as I can. "I can do it."

Rue scrambles up the nearest tree and coaches me as I follow. I persist determinedly, wanting more than anything to get some sponsors.

Over the next hour I clumsily clamber from branch to branch, tree to tree, terrified out of my mind that I'm going to fall. I don't say this, and this is a good opportunity for me to practice controlling my facial expressions. I do the best I can to keep it blank and fearless. However I slip up a few times when I temporarily lose my balance or bend a branch with my weight.

"It's alright, it won't break. It's normal for the branches to give to your weight a little," Rue assures me after I let out a small yelp of alarm. I'm slightly disgruntled by my display of weakness, but quickly recover.

Then we hear voices. We both immediately freeze, exchange a look, and don't make a single sound. We're both crouched at the base of the thick branch near the trunk. Luckily the thick leaves are concealing us.

"Please! PLEASE!" a girl shrieks. A scream pierces the air, followed by collective cruel laughter, then running footsteps. The footsteps fade away quickly; the killers went the opposite way from us. I'm horrified, then when Rue looks at me I only then realize it's showing clear on my face.

"We have to help," I whisper. I pause, making sure no one else is around, then awkwardly slide down from the tree and run towards the girl lying on the ground. Rue follows.

"That's District 10," she says quietly. "We're the only ones left now besides the Careers."

I gasp in horror. "No! No, no, no, no, no. No. I'm saving her. She's still alive." I see her breathing shallowly. Her eyes flicker slightly open and look at me sadly. "It's okay, it's okay. I'll help you," I tell her. I know if I don't save her that this'll haunt me forever. I hurriedly examine her injuries, which aren't even too bad. Someone's stuck a knife in her thigh, but has _just_ missed her femoral artery, which they'd obviously been aiming for; if they'd aimed correctly, the damage would be undoable in these circumstances. I could've made a tourniquet to prolong her life, but that wasn't helping her and it wouldn't have lasted her long, so it definitely would've been no help to us. But there it is, right there. A poorly-aimed stab. My hope. I knew all along today was a special day. It's time for my redemption. But not by killing- by saving. But will I be able to win solely by healing people? I wonder if I could somehow get an alliance with a Career by offering that kind of aid. A plan sparks in my mind of how I can get back to District 12, but then a problem finally encounters me. What about Rue?

I shake this thought and concentrate on helping the injured girl.

"Prim, they're going to come back! The cannon didn't go off!" Rue hisses urgently.

I look around, horrified. She's right. They haven't started coming back yet, but they will. We both manage to lift the girl and hurry away, as far and fast as we can.

"Hopefully," I huff, "the Careers will think they missed the cannon. They'll think she got lifted into the hovercraft."

"True," Rue puffs back, "hopefully you're right."

After about half an hour of running we get tired and decide it's safe for us to plop onto the ground. We lay there for a minute, letting our complaining muscles throb and breathing become even, then I get right to work before the girl really does die.

I get some leaves and hold them against her wound, applying constant pressure to impede her bleeding. It stops, but we need bandages. I grab some more fresh leaves and peel long, thin, stringy layers of wood from long sticks and use them to securely tie my make-shift bandage over the wound. My only concern is an infection, and I'm hoping I'm getting some sponsors even though I doubt I am.

"Can you stand?" I ask softly. The poor girl is covered in several scrapes and bruises, even some deep cuts which have ceased bleeding on their own. I'm worried about those getting infected, too. The Careers must've had fun chasing her, then torturing her after committing what they'd thought to be their last move that'd finish her off.

She nods weakly, and even though it's evident it pains her, she stumbles and positions herself into a stand, lopsided as she leans on her uninjured leg.

"You're so strong," I whisper to her, helping her back down into a sitting position against a tree. She's pale and looks faint from the loss of blood. I wish there was more I can do, but all I can think of is to get her to eat and drink a bit, then rest.

Rue and I carry her back to the cave, coax some berries and water into her, then let her rest. We can tell she's a fighter. I smile, glad that I'd been able to save her. Not just because we've gained a new ally, but also just because I've been able to do in this arena what I'm meant to do, what I never thought I could possibly do in The Hunger Games. Save a life.


	11. Chapter 11

It turns out the girl from District 10's name is Delilah. She's quite tall, she's got several inches on Rue and I. She looks to be about sixteen years old. She tells us she's been working alone the entire game. Her brown hair is dirty and ragged, and her brown eyes have this permanent tired look to them. She's very skinny; her square jaw and cheek bones are sharply defined. Her face is smeared with dirt and her clothes are caked in mud. We help her to the river and we all wash off. I replace her leaf bandage then try fishing again. Unfortunately I only catch one, but it's large enough for us all to split. We cook it and eat it with Rue's gathered fruit and herbs.

"Thank you so much!" Delilah says, eating like there's no tomorrow. She must've been practically starving this whole time. "All I had was a pack of crackers, and they ran out a few days ago. I can't even tell you how bad I feel for having nothing to offer you."

Rue and I assure her feeding her is no problem.

"I have to pay you back. What do you guys want me to do?" She finishes off her share of fish, and pops the last of the plants into her mouth, washing it down with a swig of water. "I'll do anything to help."

Rue and I exchange an excited glance, then both turn to her and we say in sync "Kill the Careers." I feel kind of bad for saying this, but there are three of us against them, and it's time to be honest with myself. How exactly am I supposed to get back to District 12 if they live? Of course I'm not going back on my word, and I won't kill them myself. But having someone else kill them for us is a different story, especially when it's for our survival. Delilah looks to be the type who can be sneaky and handy with a weapon, but only if she's fed, which we're doing now.

"Oh, I can do that if I get a weapon! I've been trying to find one everywhere, but I haven't done very well. Do you guys have something I can use? I can go hunt them down as soon as my leg's better."

"Yeah, you can use our knife," I say without hesitation. I point to it on the ground, lying beside the extracted fish bones.

"I can try. I learned some knife tricks in the training center." For some reason this statement sends a shudder down my spine. I hope it didn't show.

"Alright!" I say. "Your leg should be better in a couple days."

"But the Careers will have come found us by that point, or the Gamemakers are sure to interfere," Rue points out.

I frown. "That's true."

"I guess we need to make some excitement then," Delilah says. "Why don't you guys come up with a plan, and I'll be good enough to try it out tomorrow. What're you going to do without weapons?"

We're silent. It looks pretty bad that we're asking her to kill the Careers for us whilst we sit back and do nothing.

Rue ends up redeeming our trustworthiness as ally's. "One of us can watch your back, warn you of any trouble. I can do that if Prim doesn't mind, because I can climb trees fast and hide very well," she says, looking at me for confirmation.

"Of course," I nod. My head scrambles for something I can do. I don't want to look weak by being the one who stays behind and guards camp. I must do something to help. _What would Katniss do?_

_ "The food," _I hear Katniss whisper in the back of my head.

I gasp. "I'll get rid of their food!" I say.

They stare for a second, seeming unsure. This irritates me a little, giving me more motivation to do it. I must prove I'm underestimated.

Rue seems to read me. "Okay," she says.

The rest of the day Rue and Delilah travel the forest together, mapping out their route and putting together a plan to kill at least one or two of the Careers. Meanwhile I sit, pondering how I'm going to do this. I only then remember about the bombs they were planting around the pile of food and supplies. _Oh no. How am I going to get past that?_

By the end of the day Rue and Delilah have it all sorted out, and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

"You'll be free to access their stock, because they're most likely hunting through the forest for us, especially since they saw in the sky last night that I'm not dead," Delilah says. I just nod.

When we're all snuggled in the corner of the cave, doing our best to keep warm (the nights are getting cooler and cooler), I see Rue's head pop up.

"What? Is there trouble?" I whisper urgently.

"No, no," she assures me. It's silent except for Delilah's steady breathing. "How are you going to get rid of their food? There's bombs there, remember?"

"I don't know," I say hopelessly, my voice cracking. I begin to gnaw on my lip.

"Are you sure you want to go?"

"Yes! I'll figure it out once I'm there."

There's a pause. "I can come."

"No, I'll do it."

"…Okay. Just be careful, okay?"

I reach out to her. She grabs my hand. "I will," I say surely, looking straight into her dark worried eyes.

I wake early the next morning, and I don't feel tired at all. Rue and Delilah are still asleep, and I decide to get up and make breakfast. The sun hasn't even risen yet.

I gather water and rummage through the forest, picking the plants Rue had taught me and others that I recognize from home and the training center. After assembling a meal of roots, herbs, nuts, and berries, I eat a portion then leave it at the foot of the cave for the others when they wake. The first of the sun's golden rays are lighting up the forest when I set off.

The air is cool, moist, and fresh, and everything's wet with morning dew. I whistle random tunes to the mockingjays as I hike through the vegetation. I find I'm having a 'hollow day', and as I travel I find myself picking different berries and plants and munching as I go along. The sun's just over the horizon when I already find myself walking along the edge of the forest. It's warm light beams on my face, and the air's getting warmer. I realize I forgot to bring along water. Oh well.

More birds, bugs, and animals come out and the forest is alive again, and I know Rue and Delilah must be up and getting ready for today's mission back at the cave. I hope they're not worried about me. They wouldn't be, because they'll know I'd made that meal for them, right?

I suddenly step on a thin branch laying across my path, and it snaps loudly, echoing. I pause, holding my breath. The Careers are certainly up and hunting right now. I can imagine them being on a twenty-four hour schedule, and I'm really glad that are cave area is high concealed. However if we don't get to them first, they will eventually discover our hiding place. Of the Gamemakers will throw in some 'excitement'.

An hour later I see it. The Cornucopia and the pile of supplies. Sure enough, I can see that the bombs have been buried around it. I sigh. How am I going to do this?

I pick a nearby handful of berries, and I'm just about to put them in my mouth when…

"Hey!" a voice makes me jump a foot in the air, and I drop the handful of berries. I spin, gasping for air, to find one of the Careers, the boy from District 3, standing behind me. "That's Nightlock, you know. It's poisonous."

I stand in silence. Why is he telling me this? Is he trying to save my life?

He smiles. "Are you planning on destroying the Careers' food?"

I'm taken aback. Why would he refer to his own alliance as 'the Careers'?

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. Unless… you don't have anything to offer me. What can you do for me?" I see that he's holding a large knife, and he's got a large pack slung on his back and I have no idea what's in there. Then I notice he's got a nasty slash on his leg.

"I can fix that," I say, pointing.

He looks down. "That's not a problem to me," he says. "I want information."

I shake my head. I'm not going to betray Rue and Delilah.

_"Prim! What are you doing? Lie!" _Katniss says.

But before I can, the boy talks. "Hey, if you help me I'll help you destroy that," he says, gesturing towards the pile of food. "I was coming to do that myself anyway."

I cock my head to the side questioningly. I'm still backing up, terrified of that knife in his hand.

"So?" he says.

"Why-why are you doing that?" I choke out.

"I'm not with them anymore," he says. "I don't trust them. I know they only used me to plant and reactivate the bombs, I'm not that stupid. Since I did my job I ran off." He drops his knife. "Hey, I'll work with you if you're willing to."

I pause, not sure whether or not I should trust him. His story is reasonable and believable, for District 3 never joins the Careers, plus he's not very large in size. He doesn't seem to have any other incredible abilities they'd want him for. _And _he just saved my life… supposedly. If I join him, I can guide him away from myself and my true alliance, and make a plan to kill the Careers. Then a puzzle piece clicks in my head. We can together destroy the pile, then kill the Careers along with Rue and Delilah! Then Delilah can kill this boy, and the Careers are defeated!

"Okay," I say. I take a slow step towards him, then we shake hands. He seems to be genuine. The games are coming to a close, and at this point I do have to take chances, after all.


	12. Chapter 12

"How are we going to destroy the food?" I ask.

The boy retrieves his knife from the ground and slips it in his belt. "You don't have to worry about that," he says. "What's your name again? You're that little girl Peeta wanted to save, aren't you?"

"Prim," I answer, ignoring the second question, feeling my heart squeeze.

"I'm Calvin. Prim, you just stay in here and watch. This is going to be dangerous. When I give you this signal," he says, putting his hands against his ears, "you plug your ears, or else you'll be deafened."

"Okay," I say, very confused why this boy wants to be aligned with me. Perhaps because he has no one else, and it can give him some security? Or maybe it's the same reason the Careers had agreed to keep me before, he can sacrifice me and run away if we're ever encountered by an enemy. He also knows of my knowledge of plants. Well, aside from Nightlock. I wonder if he's planning on using me for something. I consider running away when he's working on destroying the food and supplies, but decide against it. That could lead to several bad consequences. 1) He'd realized I left and pursue me. I'm not fast enough to get away from an older, larger boy like him, so he'd realize he can't trust me and probably kill me. 2) He could secretly follow me without me noticing him, and I could lead him back to my camp to Rue and Delilah. That'd end up getting all of us dead. 3) If I ran aimlessly through the forest I'm very likely to be encountered by the Careers and die. My best bet is to trust him, for his story of leaving the Careers' sounds reasonable and relevant, and if we found them I think he's more likely to battle them than leave me and run away.

So when Calvin heads out into the clearing I crouch in a thick patch of tall grass, well hidden and unmoving. I watch intently as he walks around the pile, some distance away, observing the ground closely, like he's processing where he's planted the bombs. He stops, and his eyes are fixated on one point of the ground. He scans the ground one last time, then slightly nods to himself. He looks in my general direction, not specifically giving away my hiding spot, and puts his hands to his ears as casually as he can. I immediately plug my ears hard, not making a sound as I do so; I'm terrified someone's watching nearby, and they might find me.

Calvin then picks up a good-sized rock nearby that fits in both his hands, then he shifts it to one hand and swings it forward, his eyes still fixated on the one point. He looks very determined, concentrating hard on this point on the ground, and the rock flies from his hand, right to the spot he'd been aiming for. It lands, hits the ground, and even though I'm plugging my ears and I'm some distance away, I'm still deafened by a big, loud _boom_ that knocks me backwards, vibrates the whole ground, shakes my whole skeleton, from my skull down my spine to my toes. I can't help but let out a scream. Then another follows, then _another_, a chain reaction. The ground vibrates hard, over and over, and I'm almost afraid it might split into separate pieces. My body's lying on the ground being shaken around like a ragdoll, but I do all I can to keeping holding my hands to my ears, squeezing hard to muffle the sound as much as I can. I think about Calvin, who's right next to the explosions. Has he made a mistake? Have they destroyed him? My head's shaking like crazy, making me unable to think straight.

And the it's finally over. I lay on my back, catching my breath, then finally let go of my ears. My head pounds and so do my ringing ears. I hear no sound besides the high pitched stream. I scream again, just to make sure, but I hear nothing. I shake my head and wiggle around on the ground, trying to get my bearings again, make sure everything's still working. I try to sit up, but I'm exceptionally dizzy, so I lay back down. I feel so vulnerable right now. Anyone could come kill me, and I wouldn't even care. I'm so shaken from the explosions, I feel like I'm in a sort of stupor. I close my eyes.

When I awaken, my hearing's completely recovered, only my ears are sticky with excessive wax. I'm lying in a large round clearing of dry dirt, surrounded by very tall wheat that sways in the slight breeze. The sun's just begun to set. I sit up to find I'm no longer dizzy, however I'm still very disoriented. Where am I? This is a completely different setting from what I'm used to. Where's Calvin? Is he dead? How did I get here? This must be some trick from the Careers. I get up and I'm about to push my way through the wheat wall to find my way out, but then a voice stops me. It's Calvin.

"Hey, where are you going? You're going to get lost." His voice sounds a little fuzzy, so I clear my ears of all the wax, then yawn to budge the rest of it. I can hear the birds' distant chirping now.

I spin around. "Where are we? I thought you were dead. I was trying to get out of here."

"You think I didn't know what I was doing? Well, my hearing has lost some of its efficiency in my left ear, but… nope, still alive." He shrugs, then grins.

I can't help but grin back. _It worked!_ Plus I've been out for a few hours, and he hasn't killed me, earning most of my trust. "Why are we in a wheat field?" I must ask. It comes back to me that there had been a section of wheat field behind the Cornucopia. This is where Thresh had emerged from that first night.

"I figured this is our best place of concealment. The Careers are probably hunting through the forest. I was lucky to find this clearing here." I shudder, wondering if this is the place Thresh had once dwelled. "I had to carry you all the way here," Calvin says, disgruntled, crossing his arms. For a second I feel a little defensive, but then he says "You're just _so _big and heavy I almost couldn't stand it," and I realize he's joking. This makes me burst into a series of giggles not really at the joke itself, but the fact that he's making a joke. We're spending The Hunger Games joking around with each other. Then again, what's a better way to spend your last days doing anyway? It's good to lighten up. This completely wins over my liking of this boy. Now that he's not with the Careers and I actually get to know him, I see him completely differently. I like it.

For the next half hour we sit and discuss what's to follow. Now that the food's gone, it's guaranteed the Careers have lost a lot of security. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to track them down. Blowing up the food was just a backup plan. Now is time for the real action.

I conclude that it'll be safe to tell Calvin about Rue and Delilah, and I do. I don't reveal our camp or any details about them, but I tell him I've been working with them and they're going to be killing the Careers today if they find them. I express to him my worry for them.

"Who are they? Isn't Rue the other little girl?" he asks.

"Yes," I say. "Delilah's from District 10. We're the only girls left besides the Careers."

"I haven't heard any signs of a fight today," he says. "Unless it happened during the explosions. But that's unlikely. Immediately after we'd entered the wheat field they'd come bolting through the trees to catch the culprit. They must've been running over here during the whole thing because I'd come to get you as soon as it'd stopped. Within two minutes I had us safely hidden, but I'd heard them arrive. They were swearing like sailors. They'd headed back into the trees. Lucky they didn't think of coming in here."

I frown. What have Rue and Delilah been up to? I gasp. "Oh no!"

"What is it?"

"Rue must be worried sick! She knows about the bombs as when she heard them… she must think I'm dead!" I pause in distress. "Calvin, we have to go find them!"

"Alright," he says. "Want to head back to the forest?"

"Yes, we're going to our camp," I say, no longer caring about him knowing where our hiding spot is. He can join us. Us four versus the four Careers. I really believe we can do it. Rue can climb and spy, Delilah claims to be able to use a knife, if Calvin once had a place in the Careers and has since been able to escape them and avoid being killed without having an ally, me _must _be good, and me… well, I can heal and feed us. We really do stand a chance.

Calvin leads the way out of the wheat field. We push our way through the tall straw, and I sometimes drag my hand along them, lightly grabbing a handful and smoothly bending them down towards the ground as move forward, and I run my fingers through the seeds at the top, then let them bounce back into their normal position. It's a fun, nice temporary distraction.

The sun's surely setting when we're at the Cornucopia, where the pile is no longer. We head into the forest and I begin to pick my way through the trees and bushes. The darker it gets the more I hurry, and when we finally make it back to the cave after an hour or so, (it's well after dark by this point), we find it empty.

"Oh no," I mumble. I sniffle, then begin blubbering about how great allies they are and how they're so brave and strong, and how they _must_ be out there.

"It's okay, just wait until the anthem," Calvin assures me. I nod. My stomach growls loudly, and it turns out Calvin can fish too, so he catches three and we eat them raw, for even the smallest fire will give us away on this dark, cold, moonless night. We sip water, then the anthem begins. My rapid breathing is ragged, and I'm all jittery and numb when… no one shows up in the sky. The anthem finishes then the sky goes dark. I let out a huge sigh of relief, allowing fatigue to come over me. They're out there, seemingly safe. I'm sure they've found a nice concealed place up in the trees. With the comfort of this knowledge, Calvin and I curl up deep in the cave and fall into a good sleep. My head's laid against his chest and his arms are around me because I'm shivering, and I know how this probably looks to everyone else. But it must be fourteen degrees Fahrenheit, and there's no way I care enough to let go of his alleviating body warmth. It feels nice, too. I feel well-protected, the exact way I feel when I'm sleeping back at home. I imagine that Calvin is Katniss, that I'm safe and warm at home with my sister again, with my beloved cat at my feet, and feel myself smile as Calvin's slow, strong heartbeat lulls me to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

"Argh! Where did that come from?" I wake to this statement being shouted some distance away outside. It's in the booming voice of Cato. I sit up immediately, all my sense perked on high sensitivity. I look at the mouth of the cave to see that it's getting light outside. It must be about dawn.

A girl screams loudly, about the same distance away, and I jump. Thankfully it's not in Rue's voice, and it doesn't sound like Delilah either. "Help! I'm stuck!" I giggle. I think that's the voice of Glimmer. She must've gotten stuck in one of Peet- no, one of _the_ traps. But then I realize it's stupid to laugh, because that means the Careers are nearby!

"Calvin," I whisper, shaking him awake. "Calvin!"

He turns, stretching and yawning. "Huh?" he asks loudly.

"Shh! The Careers! Listen," I say in a hushed voice.

"There, you're free," Cato says.

"Guys, look!" another girl shrieks, then _she_ screams, but then it's cut off. Is she dead?

"_Where have you been? How did you live?" _Glimmer screeches. _Oh my god._ It's Delilah!

"Calvin, we have to go! We have to go help them!" I urge, shaking him so more to fully wake him up. He seems to come to his senses. He rubs his eyes, grabs his gear, and together we jog out into the fresh, cool morning air. It's wet and slippery again from the dew.

Today there's no time to make breakfast, stroll along casually, and whistle to the mockingjays. Today begins with action, a lot of it. Hopefully it's not ended with a lot of deaths.

We sneak through the greenery as stealthily as we can. Then we get near the sounds of the voices. Glimmer screams, then it's cut off. She must have been killed too. Is Delilah winning? Is Rue hiding nearby?

Calvin and I finally burst through the bushes into a small clearing to find the bodies of Glimmer and the girl from District 4 on the ground, stabbed to death by Delilah, who stands with a grotesque bloodied knife in her right hand. Cato and Clove, are standing across from her, Clove with a handful of knives and Cato with a spear in hand staring at us (there are two spears and three knives stuck in the trees surrounding Delilah, which indicates she must be very good at dodging; I knew she'd have potential if she was fed). It's evident they're not sure what their next move should be, whether to come attack us or continue fighting Delilah. But their weapons are nothing against Calvin's quickness, for he has taken advantage of the extra second we earned from surprising the trio, and he full on pounces on Clove, stabbing her straight in the heart before anyone can react.

Then all hell breaks loose. Cato yells, and stabs his spear right into Calvin's back, killing him immediately. This sends a wave of sadness and disappointment through me; I'd been hoping Calvin would last longer, plus I've grown to genuinely like him. Two bombs go off. Then, shocking me, I turn around just in time to see Delilah raising her knife above my head. Her face holds only madness and triumph, like I've never saved her life, like we've never been allies. Her eyes hold no regret nor resistance. I scream and I know there's no time to get away, so my only defense is to close my eyes so I don't have to watch the knife come down on me…

But then there's a delay, and Delilah shouts, so I reopen my eyes just in time to see Rue's dark little hands wrapped around Delilah's throat, saving my life.

"No!" I shriek. Cato's lunging towards the girls (who are tumbling backwards onto the ground) with the same look of triumph on his face, and an expression of hunger for killing them, winning, ending this thing and getting home to be praised and celebrated and showered with money and prizes and fame. All at the expense of the life of sweet Rue, the best friend I've ever had aside from Katniss. Rue feels like a second sister to me, so it's natural that my first reaction is to go and help her escape.

"No! Get away!" she cries to me, pinned under Delilah who's holding up her knife towards Cato. She's unable to move out from underneath, and even with my help we'd both end up dead anyway. If I tried to drag her out it'd definitely be an open window for Cato to kill all of us and have an easy win. "I want you to win! I want you to win!" she yells, looking me desperately in the eyes. I'm standing here, torn, tears springing up in my eyes and I'm shaking my head back and forth in denial. Rue evidently knows it's either I help and we both die, or I escape and she dies alone. And she wants me to win, not Cato nor Delilah. Me. And seeing as she's going to die whether I try to help or not, I must follow her last instructions to me. But my body won't respond.

"_Prim, go! Climb a tree as high as you can! Go!"_ I can hear Katniss scream at me. And it's the thought of Katniss, my mom, Lady and Buttercup, seeing them all again in District 12 that makes me budge. I get myself to turn around and sprint for the tree behind me. Without hesitating nor looking back, I climb the way Rue had taught me. In my alarm and need for survival, I'm faster and more agile than I've ever been. At this point I'm not even afraid of heights. I don't even squeal when a branch bends. I just keep going, and going, and going.

I get to the top and look back down to see Cato and Delilah battling in the middle of the meadow far below; I'm so high up the wind slightly rocks the tree. Rue is striving for the nearest tree, for she's evidently been freed when Delilah had risen to fight Cato. But then, out of _nowhere_, Delilah chucks her knife at Rue, perhaps an attempt to distract Cato, and before she can pull herself onto her branch, it lodges itself deep into the small of her back. She immediately freezes in shock, then falls backwards onto the ground, which pushes the knife deeper into her body. She lays motionless, her eyes blinking a last few times, then they remain open, still and blank. Just one tear had escaped down her face.

I feel my face scrunch up like it does when I get really upset, and I burst into tears. I sob so loud that Delilah, who seemed to have forgotten about me, is bewildered by the sound and glances up into my tree. Cato takes advantage, and pierces a spear deep into her gut. She yells out a cry of pain and defeat, and falls onto the ground. Two more bombs go off.

"NO!" I scream. "_NO!"_

Cato just looks up at me and laughs. "This is The Hunger Games, Rosemary. I mean, Primrose. If you're going to cry like a baby you're definitely no winner." He then throws a spear, but it doesn't reach high enough. He shakes his head, then comes to pursue me up the tree. _Oh no. _There's no escape. I'm going to die now. All this for nothing. _Nothing!_ Rue could've easily escaped by jumping from tree to tree, but I can't do that, not fast enough. But as I peer down I notice the slender limbs won't support his weight. I almost let out a giggle, but I'm still too upset by Rue's death that I don't. I try to avoid looking at her small body, but it's hard not to. Every time I accidentally look in her direction a new round of sobs comes on. It takes all I have not to go down there to defend her, to hide her vulnerable body from all the Capitol to see. I know what they're thinking of her. Just another dead little girl who never stood a chance. With the way she could fly through the trees though, I would've had my money on her. She doesn't deserve to be just left lying there, waiting to be picked up. In fact, the Capitol shouldn't even be able to claim her. They're the ones who did this! I want so badly to go do something.

I think I'm hearing things when my ears pick up a distant howl. I shake it off as my imagination, but then comes running paws, and growls and more loud yelps and barks and howls. My head begins to spin with all the events of the day. This whole thing couldn't have lasted more than twenty minutes, could it?

I jump and almost lose my balance when a group of _huge_ wolf mutations burst into the clearing. Cato bellows when they all begin heading towards him. Good; they're leaving the bodies alone. Cato desperately retries to climb my tree, but he doesn't get far before a branch gives out under him. The wolves swipe him down, and begin feasting on him live. I notice that they have the eyes of the rest of the dead tributes, and I almost feel sick. I see Peeta's blue eyes look up at me menacingly, and he lets out a loud bark and bares his teeth at me, but I'm safe from his reach. Rue's also there, feasting on Cato maliciously, along with Delilah. I shake my head, looking away. This isn't them, this isn't their characters. The Gamemakers are trying to change my feelings about these tributes. I must keep reminding myself these mutts aren't actually them.

And then it hits me. The Capitol is trying to make me look at these people like they're evil because they're all fighting for their own lives. Really this whole thing is just reflecting them, the people with the silly accents, and what kind of people they are. I realize that Cato is a good person too. He's only so intent on killing for his life, his family, the same reasons I'm letting all these tributes die around me. The same reason I'm letting this wolf pack treat themselves to his fresh meat, and not my own. It's just his instinct, just like it was Delilah's instinct to attempt to kill me and to kill Rue. This of course doesn't ease my pain on her death, but it makes me look at this whole situation differently. It makes me feel an odd sense of forgiveness for her.

I don't look down, but I can hear Cato's attempts of fighting the wolf pack. I hear a few mutts let out wails, but he's no fight for them. He yells and screams and cries in pain, and I know I'll never get these sounds of agony out of my head, not for the rest of my life. I feel like yelling to the Gamemakers to let him go, but I don't know where that'd end me up. I have to endure the guilt and the gruesome sounds of Cato being destroyed, stripped slowly piece by piece, chunk by chunk, bone by bone.

It seems to go on forever, and the longer it goes the more I crack. Rue… she's still down there… _Peeta_… he really is gone. I can't stand it. For once I actually accept he's never coming back, I'll never see him nor talk to him again. He's dead. Throughout the rest of the game I'd subconsciously kept on picturing him strolling out of the woods to find me, and he'd go into this whole speech of how he'd been worried about me, where I was, what I was doing, how it'd been so long since we'd last spoken. We'd catch up on our plans, alliances, activities. But it never did happen. The closest I've come to seeing him again is seeing that wolf mutation with his eyes.

"Prim!" Cato's pained, distorted voice calls. I take a deep breath, then force myself to look down. A jolt runs through me. There's blood and gore _everywhere_, and I really feel sick and dizzy if I hadn't before.

"What?" I mean to call, but I end up just choking it quietly in a broken voice. But he sees he's got my attention. He holds up a spear, and at first I think he's trying a sad final attempt to kill me, but then I see the defeat and pain in his eyes.

"Please," he begs, and tears actually roll down his face. He wants me to kill him. He's realized he's no match for these mutations, and he wants to make it quick. He then breaks into sobs. "Please!"

This makes me cry, but I blindly make my way down the trunk carefully, constantly blinking out tears, and I accept the spear from him. I have no idea how to use it, but I've seen him do it several times. I'll probably just have to stab with two hands, my arms don't have enough power to throw it…

I can't. I can't do it. I'm killing someone, going back on my word. I'm taking a life.

"_Primrose. You've come so far, girl, you're far too strong to give up now. Do it. He wants you to. You will save him pain_," I hear Haymitch tell me. I swallow, then nod once.

"Okay," I murmur, and my voice cracks.

I look back down at Cato's face, screwed up in anguish and waiting for it all to end. I'm not thinking of this as killing him. I'm thinking of it as doing what I do best- healing him, taking away the pain.

Just as a dog grabs my ankle with razor-sharp teeth, I bring down the spear, clutched tightly in both of my hands, and burrow it deep into Cato's stomach. The feel of it makes me let go of the weapon immediately, and my hands are shaking really bad. The mutt lets go of my stinging, bleeding ankle and they all feed on Cato for another minute, but now that he's dead and I've won, they're called off. My hands are shaking so bad that I can't grab hold of anything, and my legs are so wobbly I can no longer stand, so I just let myself fall from the tree; it isn't a long fall anyways. I land on the grass with a thud.

Then the final bomb goes off and the hovercraft appears above. I remember Rue's body just feet away from me, and the feeling in my limbs return when a sudden strong gush of urgency pulses through my veins. I crawl frantically -just the way I had that first night, away from the Careers- and stop when I reach Rue's body.

I gently hold her face between my hands and completely break down. My body's doubled-over in my kneeling position, wracking with convulsive sobs as I bawl and bawl and bawl. I feel like I'll never stop. The weight of this whole experience, all the deaths and tragedies, is sitting on my shoulders, curling them forward, making me unable to move position. I just kneel over Rue's small peaceful body. With a severely unsteady hand I carefully close her eyes for her and I lean forward to kiss her forehead.

"I love you," I whimper, but it sounds unintelligible.

The claws of the hovercraft are lowering to retrieve her body, but I cast myself over her, not letting them take her.

"NO, SHE'S NOT YOURS!" I scream, making my throat feel on fire. I hack a series of dry coughs from not having had water all day. My throat feels like sandpaper. I go to say something else, but nothing comes out when I open my mouth. I've lost my voice.

I shake my head, and I hug Rue's body, not wanting them to just cast her body away, not acknowledging what a wonderful person she was, what a great tribute she was, and how she didn't deserve this. My chest rips with odd sounds when I remember back to when she'd told me she had five younger siblings to take care of. What about them? Her parents? The mockingjays? The farmers in District 11, how will they know when the workday's done? All this that's dawning down on me has no answers, and it makes no sense that a young girl like myself has been disposed of so easily and carelessly, for these _sick people's_ entertainment.

"You disgusting people!" I manage to choke out. I don't care what they hear me say anymore. I just hope someone, just one person, sees this and gets me. Understands Rue's value, all these tributes' value. They were here for a reason, and not to be used then killed in these games. I wonder if Rue is up there, somewhere, watching me right now. Where's Peeta been? Is Cato watching me too? Do they understand my motives, my pain? Or do all these people think I'm just crazy?

And then a peacekeeper comes down and sticks some needle in my arm, and I'm out cold, all meaning and emotion gone.


	14. Chapter 14

I wake up laying on my back on a white table in a white room. I feel as if I'm in a lunatic asylum, and immediately feel the urge to get out of here. Have the Capitol people decided I'm _crazy_ now, crazy for having feelings? As I flash back to the recently passed events I heave a few dry sobs, out of tears. How long ago had that happened? How long has it been?

I try to get up but find to my disgust that they've actually _strapped_ me to the table. I can't believe this. All my anger at the Capitol begins to bubble up again, and I completely rip all the cords and wires and things keeping me on the table and get up furiously. For a second I'm rather surprised with what I just did. Is this me? Before the games I would've just laid there, terrified, and probably whimper the whole time. Nope, that little girl isn't me anymore. I've changed. Unfortunately, I don't think I like this. I don't want to grow up quite yet. What if my mom and Katniss don't see the need of protecting me anymore, and let me fend for myself?

Then Haymitch walks in walks in through a door I hadn't previously noticed. The first thing we both do is open our arms for a hug. I run to him and wrap my arms tightly around his waist. The way I hug him reminds me of the old days with my dad. I used to hug my dad this exact way, and it feels the same, too. Except my dad didn't smell of alcohol.

"You did such an incredible job out there," he says, letting go. I back up and look up at his face. His smile turns to a frown. "What's wrong?"

I bite my lip, regain my composure, as say "I want to see my family," as calmly as I can.

"I know, but you've still got your final interview yet," he says. "And then you can go home."

I get a massive sinking feeling in my chest. I'd completely forgotten about all the 'celebration' stuff following the games. But I can't even imagine going through a live interview to celebrate winning it. Being in the Hunger Games has been the worst tragedy of my life, why would I want to celebrate it with the country, with the _Capitol_, the people who killed us all and made me fight to the death? I'm not happy, not happy at all and right now I feel like I never will be again. I feel like getting back home and reuniting with my mom, Katniss, Lady, and Buttercup, and seeing my friends at school again will lighten the pain and sorrow of this whole experience, and hopefully help begin to erase the horrible, _horrible_ memories from the worst weeks of my life. I don't ever want to think about the games again. But first I must talk about them, recall moments in the games and act happy about all of this. I'm certainly glad I'm alive, but I'm not happy that I've won. I wonder if that makes sense.

"I can't do it," I whisper, looking down at my feet.

"Hey," Haymitch says, tilting my chin up towards his face. I vaguely remember him doing that back during breakfast on our floor at the training center before entering the games. It feels like _ages_ ago, a different lifetime even, when that happened. "Lighten up. Smile!" I just continue to look at him with my turned down mouth and glossy eyes. I feel like this expression is permanently on my face forever. Haymitch looks genuinely worried. "Maybe we should put you on some meds. You really aren't happy, are you? Don't worry, it'll get better when you're old enough to drink. Why, look at me!" He chuckles. I just stare. "Come on, Primrose!" He's getting irritated. "Do you really think you can go out there for your interview looking like this? You've got some training to do-

"No. I'll be fine. Just give me some time." I'm lying. I know I won't be able to keep it together for my interview, especially when they mention someone I've worked with like Peeta or Rue, or even Calvin.

Haymitch nods solemnly, but I can see in his eyes he knows I don't mean it. He probably sees the emptiness in them, the emptiness I feel throughout me. I know I don't need alcohol or anything conjured in the Capitol to fix me. The only thing that'll heal me is going home. Going back to the people I live for, I've fought for, I love more than anything, that will heal me, and nothing else.

After a week of recovering from the games (regaining weight, rehydrating, healing cuts and wounds, etc.) the same sad and empty feeling lives in me. It lurks deep in my soul, feeling like an infection that'll never go away until I get what I need to treat it. My body is clear of any scars and marks from the games, hiding the ugly aftermath from the Capitol people and everyone else. But that doesn't help the inside. Only I can feel the overwhelming depression left from the tragic 'festivity'. To the rich and the fortunate, this all really is a game, and we're their puppets. There are no consequences for them, no memories that haunt them for the rest of their lives. I briefly and bitterly wonder how one of the Capitol children would do in a games, but back up on that thought. I have a deep desire for revenge, but I feel terrible for it. Revenge wouldn't do any good… would it?

"Are you ready?" Cinna asks me. He puts both hands on my shoulders and forces a grin, trying to make me smile.

I put on my mask of forged delight, making sure my eyes squint slightly and my teeth are showing, just as I've learned from Effie. The woman actually seems to pity me, and I've been practicing this face all week, accepting tips and pointers from her.

"Good girl," Haymitch praises me, peering at my face from behind Cinna. Cinna gives me a silent look of sympathy and gives a nod, then lets me go. Haymitch gives me a thumbs-up. "Just keep on that pretty face and you'll do fine."

"Remember your family watching, and everyone else from home," Cinna reminds me calmly.

I nod, then return to my neutral face, another expression I've been practicing in private. It's my emotionless look I'd been trying to keep up in the arena, the look I'd stolen from Katniss when she'd hide her feelings. Only I've… tweaked it a little, just so it looks genuine instead of like a cover hiding something.

"Oh my _goodness_, Primrose, you're lovely!" Effie trills, coming up from behind me. She's smiling so big it's scary, and she claps her hands together in excitement. "You're going to charm them all!"

Following her comes Flavius, Octavia, and Venia, all gushing over how 'perfect' I am. I 'grin' once again and accept their compliments.

"About time to head down," Haymitch mumbles, glancing at his watch. Time for my interview. Then I can _finally_ go home.

We pile into the elevator and as we go down, I think about all those stylists and prep teams and mentors who're disappointed none of their tributes had won. I shudder at the thought of this building being empty, and I've been left behind. Not too long ago (but feeling like forever ago) it'd been active and busy with twelve occupied floors, full of hopeful and frightened tributes. Now it's empty like me, silent and still as a ghost. But in a year, it'll be filled then emptied once again…then a year later, again…and again…and again…and again…

We reach the bottommost floor where I'll step onto my platform to rise onto the stage, and I take my place.

"You ready?" Flavius asks, adjusting a lock of my hair.

I swallow. "Yes."

"You'll do great!" Effie says enthusiastically.

"Oh, you look _so_ grown up," Octavia says, meaning it to be a compliment. Instead it reminds me of a week ago when I'd been wishing I could revert back to my old young self.

"Remember to keep that smile on," Cinna reminds me with a smile of his own, and then I'm raising up to the place I've been dreading for days.


	15. Chapter 15

Millions of cheers and roars greet me, and I internally double-check that my smile feels right, and it does. I must make it look real and manage to keep it that way, because I don't want to go back the way I had my last interview. I need to look strong. If I can just keep up this façade for one time, I'll be satisfied on my way home. I'll have finally achieved my goal to for once successfully hide my emotions.

I beam and wave at the audience, trying to forget what they're cheering for, what I'm here for, and make my way to my seat across from Caesar Flickerman. I shake his hand and look him in the eye, and he's as happy and energetic as an excited puppy. For a second I wonder if this is genuine, or if he's pretending like I am, but then realize what a silly thought that was. _Of course_ it's genuine. Capitol people don't ever have to pretend. What would be their reason?

"Congratulations dear Primrose!" he says. The audience tones down, anticipating my words.

"Thank you!" I say, resisting a grimace. _District 12 is watching you. Represent them well._

"Who would've thought a little girl like you would've made it! You've been the hot topic of gossip all over Panem the last few days!"

He's waiting for a response. I have no idea what to say to that, so I just giggle and act flattered.

"You know, perhaps you've changed the opinions of many sponsors. Your win could increase another little girl's chance of winning in the future. How do you feel about that?"

_I hate that. No other little girls, nor anyone should have to go through these games. They should be cancelled._ "It feels good," I laugh, twisting a shiny lock of hair around my finger.

"I bet you it does! You're beautiful tonight, by the way," he adds.

"Thank you! Give my prep team and Cinna the credit for that." I smile and blush. Tonight my hair's been curled and put in a half-ponytail. The rest of my hair that isn't pinned up spills down my back in soft, golden tresses. I'm again wearing minimal makeup, just brown eyeliner and gray eye shadow, peach blush and rosy lip stain. My dress is pink and strapless, tightly fitted and completely sequined at the top, and a flowing pink skirt that falls just below my knees. I'm wearing low pink heels in addition.

"So, were you expecting to win? What did you think your chances were?" Caesar asks, leaning forward in his chair to emphasize the attention on me.

"I didn't think I was going to win at all. I thought I had minimal chance," I say modestly, although this isn't completely true. I _had_ had hope, but I don't want to admit this and sound silly, even though I did end up winning. "How many tributes win without killing?" I add.

"Ah, I was going to ask you about that. Why had you been so intent on not killing?"

"I didn't want to take away a life. Saving lives is what I do. I didn't want the games to… change me too much." I smile sweetly.

"Atta girl," he praises. The audience cheers. "Did you think you had fans? How many do you think you have now?" He continues to smile at me, which reminds me to keep my smile up.

"_No_, not any," I say, telling the truth this time. "Well… now that I've won I think I may have a few…"

The audience cheers, and Caesar leans back in his chair and laughs. "Oh, believe me Prim, you have many more than just 'a few' fans. Can you guys agree with that?" he asks, addressing the audience. They burst into deafening roars and cheers and applause. I smile and wave. '_District 12 is watching,_' I remind myself.

Caesar turns back to me and brings up one of my many dreaded subjects. "So… we saw you get close with a few people in the arena." His voice and face turns serious.

"Yes," I whisper. I work to maintain my 'neutral' expression.

"Delilah. You saved her life, and she was a stranger to you! You didn't save anyone else, but you saved her. Why?"

"Um…I'm not entirely sure. I just felt like I needed to," I say quietly. It's lucky the microphone is on high sensitivity.

Caesar nods. "Yes, victors have talked about having had an inexplicable gut feeling at times." He pauses, indicating a switch of subject. "So… Calvin. Was there anything _more_ going on there? You two looked perfect that one night in the cave."

I quickly shake my head and laugh. A _real_ laugh. "No, of course not. I don't have time for love. I'm young." I'm pleased to hear the audience laugh following this statement. It's good to know I'm coming off genuine and likable. I must represent my district and family well, even though I have no respect for these people.

Caesar laughs. "Well, that's a slight disappointment."

The audience's laughter gradually trails off.

"Peeta. How did you and Peeta's relationship differ from you and Calvin's?"

"I knew Peeta better. I could fully trust Peeta. And he was devoting his life to save mine. Calvin wasn't." I try not to put any meaning nor memories to the name 'Peeta'. I pretend it's a meaningless word.

"So you trusted Peeta more?" he pushes.

"Yeah, I guess." But in truth I oddly hadn't. I hadn't thought Peeta had been deceiving me, but I think I connected with Calvin better. Perhaps because I thought of him as an older sibling, I'd related him to Katniss. I can't explain the connection I'd had with him, but I know it hadn't been love. Not that kind of love.

"Rue," Caesar then says, sending a wash of grief and anxiety through me. I don't want to cry. "You were very passionate at her death. A peacekeeper actually had to come down and sedate you."

I close my eyes and nod, taking a deep breath.

"Can you describe such a feeling to us? How did you feel following her death? "

_This is your chance. Show them how you feel, what they did to you. _"It's…the most horrible feeling I've ever felt in my life. It's really, really awful. It was like watching a sister die right in front of me. I've never felt so… in despair. I think it'll haunt me forever."

The audience is completely silent and unmoving. Nobody makes a sound of sympathy, no sounds that show they understand. Can anyone relate? No Capitol residents have had to watch a loved one die, not violently at least. Of course no one can relate. I hope they're trying to imagine it happening and the pain they'd feel, just so they can try to understand, even for a minute. It can broaden their minds, take them off of their silly little worries for once.

Caesar wears a grave expression. "It must be hard."

"It is." I'm pleased with how well I'm keeping my composure. I haven't slipped up at all.

"Well, hopefully you'll never need to go through such a thing again. Soon you'll be on your way home safely to District 12. Do you think your family's proud of you?"

I give a small sincere smile. "Yes, I hope so."

"Ah, what kind of question was that? Of course they are!" Caesar stands and offers me a hand. I let him help me up. "Well, congratulations once again. Primrose Everdeen, everyone!"

The audience breaks the tender sentimental atmosphere by once again bursting into loud, cheerful applause. I'm then presented with a crown from President Snow, then the season's recap video is presented, centering around me. I try to tune out most of it, but I catch some parts with Peeta and I, a surprising close encounter with the female Careers I hadn't noticed during the first day of the games, myself meeting Rue, falling in the bush, Peeta and the squids, Delilah, Calvin stalking me awhile before he'd spoken up to me, that final night in the cave, and the battle. I tear up a few times, but I don't full on cry like I'd been afraid of. Tearing up shows that I'm still that sweet innocent girl at the beginning of the games, that the games haven't changed me significantly.

"Well, it's time to call it a night," Caesar says, shaking my hand once again. "And we'll see _you_ again in a few months during the victory tour."

I flash a dazzling smile, but I'm sinking inside.

"Goodbye Primrose Everdeen. This will not be our last one." He smiles at me, and his eye has a friendly twinkle.

I nod. "Yes," is all I can say. And then I'm finally on my way off the stage.

"Great job, sweetheart," Haymitch tells me, offering me a hug. I endure more praise from Cinna, Effie, and my prep team, and then it's time to head back onto the train home.


	16. Chapter 16

I lay once again in the same cushy bed I had laid in three lifetimes ago, with the same soft, silky sheets pulled right up to my chin. I curl up and picture Buttercup snuggled against my legs, protecting me not from what's to come, but what has passed, the vivid alarming memories of many of my worst fears.

"I'm coming home," I mumble into my pillow. "I'm finally coming home."

I fall into an uneasy sleep of graphic, lifelike nightmares that match the ones I've been suffering from for the past week. I've had dreams of flashbacks like running away from the squids again, re-watching Rue's death, or re-living having to kill Cato over and over; I can't get over the sickening feeling of the spear in my hands sinking deep into his flesh. I've also dreamt of what _could've_ happened in the games, like myself getting captured and tortured by the Careers, or watching the wolf mutations feasting on Peeta instead of Cato. The absolute worst are the ones that can possibly happen in the future, like the Gamemakers deciding for some reason it wasn't fair that I won so they execute me, or I go home to find that my mom and Katniss think I'm independent enough that I don't need them anymore, and they leave me to live alone in the Victor's Village. What if their opinions have been changed on me after watching the games, after watching me kill someone? What if they don't love me as much anymore because I'm not as sweet, young, and innocent as I used to be?

Tonight I dream the most atrocious dream I've had in my life. Instead of me getting reaped, Katniss does. I cry and scream helplessly, but I'm held back by my mom who reminds me we'll only get her in more trouble if we fight the rules. I'm horrified by the consideration of losing her forever, never getting to talk to her again, hug her again, or see her again. My life without my sister would feel so empty and pointless. But the dream feels _so_ real, having her pulled away from me, having to watch her starve, hunt people, and _be_ hunted by people. I just can't stand such a thought…

I wake up with a sore head, a sore jaw, and covered in cold sticky sweat. I push the sheets off me and go to freshen myself up in the shower. After brushing my teeth and hair and dressing in a comfortable sweater and track pants, I head for breakfast. I lean on my hand as I slowly chew food, not even paying attention to what I'm eating nor what it tastes like. I try to think of nice things, like arriving back to District 12, but my mind keeps returning to last night's dream, and all the other memories engraved into my head. I wish I could pour bleach into my ear and burn them all away for good. I can't believe I have to wait another entire day before I can go home. I want to stay there forever and ever, never leave again. The more I think about home, the less I can tolerate the idea of having to leave again for the victory tour. I consider faking a serious illness so I don't have to go. Then again, the Capitol would probably have something to treat it; they have _everything_ there, all kinds of stuff us outlying districts don't have access to. Except for the victors, which today includes me.

I spend the rest of the day lounging around in my room, lying in bed and doing nothing, just _waiting _to get home. If anyone attempts to talk to me I tell them I don't feel like talking. I'll occasionally get worried stares and hear worried whispers concerning my mental state when I arrive for meals. I refuse to watch the recap of my interview. I just lay, waiting…

And then it's the day. I wake up, again sore and sweating and haunted from another dream, reminding myself _this is the day, it's here at last_. I don't let my hopes get too high. I won't until I'm actually at the train station. I'm afraid of being let down because of a delay or some other kind of interference. But all day I sit at the window, staring outside, and we ultimately make it into District 12 around lunchtime. As soon as I recognize the landscape that fleets by I begin bouncing in my seat with excitement and impatience. My heart flutters swiftly, anticipating the halt of the train. I'm breathing quickly and pacing fast when the train begins to slow. When we enter the station, I fly out of my room to meet Effie and Haymitch behind the doors. My legs are numb and shaky, and all they want to do is carry me to my family.

"You ready? Remember cameras will be outside," Haymitch reminds me.

I shake my head. "I don't care about the cameras. Open doors, _open_!" I lightly kick the doors, and the train comes to a complete stop. I can see all the people of District 12 and the camera crews scattered around the platform, but right there, in the middle, stands my mom and Katniss. I bounce up and down on my toes, then the doors slide open and I dash out as fast as I possibly can. I sprint across the platform with my arms wide, not even thinking about the cameras at all. Within seconds I'm in my mom's arms again, squeezing her tight, feeling her secure arms around me, and I feel like I'll never let go. My head leans on her chest and I close my eyes and listen to her heart, which beats at the same pace as mine. My face breaks into a real smile, realer than it's been in a very, very long time.

"I missed you," I say.

"So did I, sweetie. I love you very, very much."

"I love you too, mom," I say, my voice cracking, and a few tears slide down my cheeks. She gives me a squeeze then lets go to give me the chance to reunite with Katniss. I'm dizzy with all the excitement when I throw my arms around my sister, and she squeezes me tight, rubbing my back and leaning her cheek on my head.

"I'm so glad you're safe," she whispers to me. "You were phenomenal out there. You're so strong."

I laugh shakily whilst still crying. I'm overcome with a mixture of contrasting emotions. "Whatever you say."

We hug silently for another minute, then it's time to go home. None of us acknowledge the Capitol cameras as District 12 cheers when we leave the station, and we begin to walk back home. I hold Katniss' hand in my left, and my mom's in my right. Neither of us say a word the entire way. We head into the Seam, for I don't officially move into my new victor's home until tomorrow. I gratefully inhale the smell of home when I walk back through the door. It's weird thinking the last time I've walked through this door had been after milking Lady before the reaping.

We get inside and eat a meal Katniss and Gale had assembled specially for my return home; fish stew with bread, cheese, strawberries, and katniss roots. Primroses have been gathered in a small bouquet for me. For the rest of the day we talk about several things unrelated to the Hunger Games. I catch up on what I've missed, and I'm assured Lady and Buttercup have been treated well. Buttercup sits on my lap whenever I'm sitting, and stays close by my ankle whenever I'm up, never letting me stray more than three feet out of her range. (_"Wouldn't stop crying when you didn't come back," _Katniss had said).

I milk Lady in the early evening, then we have her milk with an honorable supper of even higher value than lunch. It only occurs to me now that we're eating the _baker's_ bread, _Peeta's_ bread. I try to forget about it, but then it won't leave my mind after that which spoils the meal, so I don't eat the rest of my bread and claim I'm full.

"The Capitol gives you _a lot_ of rich food," I say as an excuse.

I have a relaxing, hot bath then dress back into my normal bed clothes. Katniss assembles my hair into my two French braids. Then we curl up in our bed, the covers pulled tight and our mom not far by our sides, and Buttercup curls up at my feet, _for real_ this time. Then just like back when we were young kids, our mom tells us one of her old bedtime stories, my favourite one. It's about a young woman who has a sick baby. She's poor and lost and alone, and she doesn't know what to do, but she's willing to do anything to heal her baby and keep it happy. All she could eat and feed it was leftover scraps she'd retrieve from trash cans, and when her cranky baby would cry at night, she'd sing it to sleep.

"Let's sing it together," I say, and we do. Our voices blend together softly and brings me back in time.

_Deep in the meadow_

_Under the willow_

_A bed of grass_

_A soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head_

_And close your sleepy eyes_

_And when they open_

_The sun will rise_

_Here it's safe_

_And here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet_

_And tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you_

The story ends with the mom being spiritually led to a fountain that heals her baby back to health when she dips it in its divine water. She brings a wealthy man to the fountain and shows him of its use, and the man ends up selling it and giving her half of his earned money. For the rest of her life she raises her child and together they help the poor by growing fruit and vegetables and trading them for milk, bread, sugar, and other things. Some days she'll even give food away for free because she remembers what it's like to struggle, and she likes to show that being wealthy hasn't caused her to forget her dark days. I try not to relate this section of the story to myself; I want more than anything to forget my dark days. But I agree that being wealthy won't change the way I think or feel about things, it won't desensitize me nor give me a big head. I'll always think of myself as that little poor girl from the Seam, I won't lose who I used to be.

The story's finished, and Katniss rolls onto her side to face me.

"Hey Prim," she whispers as our mom leaves to prepare herself for bed.

"Yeah?" I whisper back.

"Don't tell mom, but I bought this the day after the reaping. I'd found it at the Hob and _had_ to get it for you, I had this feeling that I had to have it, that it'd keep you safe. Mom won't be happy, though, if she knows I'd been trading valuable stuff for this thing, so don't let her see it. But here, it's for you."

She shifts around a bit, then she grabs my hand out from under the warm sheets and gently opens my fingers. I stare curiously, waiting to see what it'll be. Then she drops it into my hand. It's small, light, round, and is hard like metal. I hold it up a little, into the light, to examine it. It's a shiny mockingjay pin. I immediately think of Rue whistling to the mockingjays, and smile. I whistle her tune aloud, and remember the sounds of the mockingjays calling it back to me. Somehow this doesn't make me sad. I bet Rue's looking down on me right now, and she's happy I've received it. This pin brings back the good memories of Rue, her kindness, bravery, and innocence. It reminds me that she's safe and happy now, safe and sound in heaven. I knew all along it wasn't me, it was this pin that kept me safe. If I ever feel sad, lonely, vulnerable, or if I simply have a nightmare or find myself grieving over Rue, I can look at this pin and renew a feeling of security. It also reminds me that I've successfully survived the games, and that Katniss is safe now from ever having to be reaped. For once I actually think going into the games was really worth something.

"Thank you," I say, not sure whether Katniss really understands the value this pin has for me, all that it really means. "Thank you so much. I love you!" I pull myself close to her and bury my face into her chest. She holds me tight and strokes my hair for a minute. Our mom comes back in and gives us each a kiss goodnight, and then I fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, surrounded by all I'd ever need to live happily. Who needs a big house, a ton of rich food and technology, and a giant closet of stylish clothes? All I'll ever need to make me smile is right here.

The End

*Thank you to everyone who's taken their time to read this story, it means _a lot_ to me. There won't be a sequel, however more stuff will be coming including a short story in Katniss' perspective of Prim returning home. Please comment and let me know what you thought of the story, I really appreciate the reviews. Thanks! *


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